Pardon Me For Whining
Okay… so I feel like I should apologize for whining yesterday. It’s not that it’s not in my character, it’s just not in my character to do it out loud. I always do it in my head so the world thinks I’m super spiritual. Just kidding… they don’t. But I like to think myself super spiritual sometimes; because then I don’t feel so bad about myself when I realize I’m an epic failure. Now that I’m done with that, let me tell you what I really want to do. I want to Psalm 13:6 it today!
I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.
So in case you missed my whining session at the end of my vlog (video blog) yesterday, I was a tad emotional about the fact that temptation in this world is hard. Everyone faces it, and I’ve had my share lately when it comes to wanting to escape the will of God. That sounds bad. I should want to be in the will of God, right? Well, I technically do, until it’s a struggle. Like in the world of my finances and then I want to jump this ministry ship and get a “real job.” I get in that mode because that’s what the world tells me I should do. So this morning as I went merrily on my way, bible journaling through Psalms I came upon David’s whining session. However in his defense, his own son Absalom was trying to kill him. That really trumps my reasons to whine.
1How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
Forever? Have you ever felt that way? When God does not answer immediately, especially in the microwave society for which we live, the feeling of despair can take over quickly. I want an immediate resolve so I can move forward. I want God to fix this mess! But with that cry I have to realize that God didn’t make my mess. I did.
Just like David. While he didn’t cause his son to become his enemy, he caused himself to lack the confidence that he had earlier experienced (before the sin with Bathsheba). Failing in our walk with Christ causes the feeling of abandonment, not because God moved, but because we’re not as close as we once were.
2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
The worst thing I can do is ask myself for advice.
Taking counsel in my own soul will just add insult to injury. I’m a little too close to the situation, don’t you think? And yet when I don’t hear from God, rather than being still and waiting, I talk. And talk. And talk some more. I’m such a slow learner.
3 Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; 4 Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
Can you not hear the whining heart of the Jesus chick? It’s pretty loud. “I’m dying here Lord!” that’s what David said and that’s what I have a tendency to say. Because of my struggles I don’t have the ability to get the things accomplished that I want to get done. And because of that, I too feel like the enemy is rejoicing in my failures and I’ve been moved out of the place I long to be in.
So here I am sitting in my office this morning and God reminds of a pumpkin that’s sitting at the edge of my yard in a pumpkin patch that I didn’t even plant. I had pumpkin décor last fall and it stayed in front of David’s wood shop on a few bales of hay, until it decayed and David as he often does, he cleaned up my mess. He threw the hay, pumpkin and all at the edge of a field. The seeds from those pumpkins made it into the ground and bore fruit. It was so exciting when David discovered our unexpected blessing and showed it to me.
So this morning I hear… this mess too will bear a surprising fruit. Be Still.
5 But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.6 I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.
So let me unwind and un-whine. God is good. That pumpkin is far from the only blessing in my life. I received such sweet encouragement from a few friends yesterday.
I shall not be moved! Because the Lord has more than dealt more than bountiful with me. How about you? Do you have a pumpkin in your patch? Praise God for it. And run the enemy off the porch of your dreams. Thank You Jesus.