With every stroke of the brush, marker or pen my mind’s eye goes into critical mode. “That line’s not straight… that looks dumb…why did I put that there?” It’s likely the nature of the beast of an artist. A word I have always had issues with because I’ve never considered myself to be one. So today, 2 Corinthians 12:9 caught my eye and took me to a different place.
The place called grace.
2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Perhaps it’s a trip you needed to take today as well.
The only grace that truly matters, because He is the only One Who is worthy to give it. I can extend grace to others and I should, because I need it as much as they do. I’m a sinner saved by grace, fully forgiven because of the blood of Jesus Christ. But often times there is no one harder on me than me. I’m sure Apostle Paul could identify. How many times did Satan remind him of his previous life? Countless no doubt. And for me, Satan may only have to remind me of fifteen minutes ago. But there’s something about pen to paper that makes my mistakes more permanent than just the ink.
Seeing the mistake on the page weakens me. It reminds me of the fact that I often consider myself faux artist, much like the technique of faux art. I’m not real. It’s why I need His strength. I rely on it to get me through those times when Satan would tear me down and with me the ministry I long to build for the Kingdom of God. That’s why Satan does it. Every time he can use self-criticism as a tool he can thwart the Kingdom’s work.
I don’t know how many times, far too many to count that I have walked off the platform feeling like a dirt dog because I had failed. Only to be greeted by a child of God who described a performance that was far above the one I experienced. That’s His power! Not mine. He can take a vessel, marred and broken like me and use me in spite of myself and my mistakes.
There was an illustration once at a retreat I attended where the ladies had taken a pitcher, broken it and glued it back together. In front of the audience they poured water into it only to have it pour through the cracks of the broken vessel. Hello! This is where we get happy. If we allow our brokenness, our mistakes to be seen by other people, the Holy Spirit can flow into and out of us blessing many and drawing them to the grace, the strength and the power we experience as His children.
Yes… this is what I have to remember. My imperfections are made perfect by my Lord. His grace, His goodness, and His greatness dwell within me. I just have to let them leak through the cracks of my broken, messed up self.