Tag Archives: anger

Feeling Hurt or Betrayed… this post is for you!

God's favOne of my greatest defeats in life is the heartache of betrayal by friends and family. It takes me forever and a day to get past what happened and get on with life as God’s design intended and I have a feeling I’m not alone. If a stranger speaks ill of you or does you harm you can shrug that off for you are no better or worse without them in your life. But if someone for whom you have invested love, energy and time betrays you; it’s as if a piece of your very heart has been torn asunder. There is no salve that will heal it, nor bandage that can conceal it. Everybody in your circle knows that you’ve been hurt, which for me is worse than the hurt sometimes. Because then I not only have to deal with the pain inflicted by the person who hurt me, but the shame I feel around those who know that I was betrayed. It’s a double whammy kind of day.

It’s been a little while since I have been in that position, but as I read across 2 Samuel 19 this morning the times that it occurred came flooding back into my mind as if someone had opened a gate.  I can still find myself wallowing in the pain like I’ve stepped in mucky miry clay in my favorite shoes; ruining the shoes and causing me to slip and fall back into that despair I felt when it originally happened. What I fail to understand in times like these is that I’ve not only gotten myself stuck in the mud but those around me are being splattered as well as I stomp and kick my way back to dry ground. Even the unsaved know the scripture about turning the other cheek in Matthew 5:39. They may not be able to quote it but they know it’s supposed to be a Christian characteristic that practically every Christian fails.

In 2 Samuel 19, David has just won the battle, but in the process his son Absalom is killed. He’s been betrayed by friends and family. He’s mourning not only the loss of a child but the agony of his son’s betrayal. Joab, the commander of his army has to have a heart to heart about his role as leader and the effect his mourning is having on his nation. They feel they’ve done something wrong by killing his enemy. David sent the whole nation running into their tents like thieves; as if they’d done wrong for doing right. He does make amends and in the process makes a statement that every child of God should know.

After the battle, Shimei, who had been on the opposing team comes to David in great remorse for his behavior begging forgiveness. Abishai, David’s comrade and nephew (his mom was Zeruiah) tells David to forget Shimei’s apology and put him to death because he had “cursed the Lord’s anointed.” Oh how many times I have all but ask God to kill those who have betrayed me. I didn’t want God to kill’em but if He’d have maimed them I’d have been okay with that. But David answers him in royal style and forgiveness.

2nd Samuel 19:22

And David said, What have I to do with you, ye sons of Zeruiah, that ye should this day be adversaries unto me? shall there any man be put to death this day in Israel? for do not I know that I am this day king over Israel?

To country quote that for myself … “The battle is over, the damage is done and I’m still God’s favorite.”

That’ll put a shout on you! That’s how you victoriously get past the hurt. Regardless of what someone has done, or what the end result is, they cannot remove you from your station in life that God has given you. If we’re wallowing in pain, we’ve stepped down from our position. That’s an awesome word for someone today… Me for one!

Fighting Fire with Fire: Resentment gone wrong

The human spirit is so deceptive. Someone hurts you and the first thing that enters into your mind is “One of these days….vengeance will be sweet.” But it’s not long after vengeance has occurred that you realize you still feel as bad as you did prior to it happening; it resolved nothing. If you’re a child of God, you’ve been rewired. That deceptive human spirit, although it’s still in there, now has a God nature to contend with, and God’s way of handling things has nothing to do with your enemy getting his or her “come uppin’s.” God’s ways are to quench the anger with water of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 12:20

Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

This thought came to my mind as our new Pastor candidate delivered his sermon yesterday morning. A passing thought in the sermon that he didn’t dwell on, but I couldn’t keep my mind off of) was “We want to fight fire with fire, but most fires are put out with water.” Fire is a destructive source. Brush fires scorch acres and acres of property in our community each year leaving nothing behind but blackened trees and ground; but oddly enough what you think would be destroyed beyond hope, grows again with time.

As far as humans are concerned time doesn’t always heal all wounds. Anger and resentment are fire to the soul and spread as quickly as any wild fire. Retaliation in response to someone who hurt us is mostly like gasoline on a flame, it bursts up quickly and gives the appearance of success, but just as quickly burns away to a slow consuming fire. If a fire keeps burning, two things happen, you either have to add more wood, or the wood is consumed. If you want to keep anger in your soul, you’ll either have to stoke that fire, or let it go out on its own, but it’s a whole lot less destructive if you pour water on it in the beginning.

Are you harboring anger or resentment today? Undealt with anger will destroy you from within. But Praise God! The very thing the enemy would use to destroy you also has a built in extinguisher.

Jesus said in John 7:38

He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.

Isn’t it amazing how our Lord works!

I’m not casting a single stone here this morning, I’ve stoked that flame in my own heart on several occasions, it actually felt gratifying for a minute, but it always ends the same. More heartache.

Let it go…