Tag Archives: who I am

A Good Day to Look Backward and See Forward

By far one of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Long before Gene Hardway and Violet Spencer , became Gene and Violet Hardway, God knew me. That alone blows my mind. But greater than that is the fact that He knew “me.” The bad, the good and the ugly. And actually Christ says there is none good but God (Luke 18:19); so that just leaves the bad and the ugly. And yet He still chose to save me, use and free me in this wicked world. Amazing.

You too can stand amazed, because He has an amazing message for us in those 31 words. One for each day of any month. There is not a day that goes by that God doesn’t haven a plan. We may choose to ignore it, or perhaps you’re not even in the place to discover it because you’ve never accepted Him as Savior and Lord. But regardless, He has plan.

In a few weeks I’ll turn the double nickel. Where did 55 years go? Much of it wasted, but much of it was in preparatory times for days like these. Even the bad and ugly days have created me to be who I am. The hurts of the past help me love the hurting. The mistakes of the past helped me forgive the mistaken. The brokenness of the past… well you get the picture. Everything has purpose. I won’t say it was all of God, because there were times I was doing anything but listening to God, but He used it. My mistakes didn’t catch God off guard. He did not say, “Oh my stars! She’s beyond anything I can do.” No, He knew me, He loved me anyway and He uses me any way.

He Knew Me

Somewhere in the portals of time, I was. I don’t have a clue as to what form I was, body or spirit. But I was. I was who God created me to me. The drawing I doodled last night that began this thought was a caricature of me as a child. Weird child that I was, speaking into hair brushes, pretending I had an audience of ten. I really didn’t have too big of dreams about it then. But God did. I wasn’t singing, like other little girls. I was speaking. I had important things to say that I was sure the whole world needed to hear. That experience had all but left my mind until a speaking engagement a few years ago when it flooded back into my soul and God said… this is what I created you to do. That’s amazing!

He Loves Me

Long after the hair brush in the mirror days, I had a lot of ugly times. I didn’t know God until I was 34 years old. So that left a lot of years of just me. And I messed up a lot of those years. From 34 to 55, I’ve walked with Christ, but many of those days I’ve walked ahead and had to retrace my steps back to Him and ask once again for Him to take the lead. Life is tricky. But even with all the mistakes, getting off track, feeling frustrated and failure upon failure… He loves me.

He Uses Me

That’s the most amazing thing of all! That I’m on staff for God. Have you ever thought of it like that? That’ll blow your mind away! We all like position in life and recognition, but we take the greatest position in life for granted. That we work for God. That we have a position, a job and goal in life that He instilled in us as a children, and many people just throw it away like it was yesterday’s newspaper. Perhaps you’ve not even discovered yours. Today would be a good day to look backward and see forward

 

Something Beautiful & Good: You!

I have about as much of a clue on why God tolerates my antics as I do on figuring out what makes the world tick. My attention span is that of a two year old (I kid you not). I’ll apologize ahead of time or behind time for a conversation in which my eyes glaze over. It’s not you, it’s that ol’ ADD, which can stand for Attention Deficit Disorder, or Adult Defiance Disorder which I have no medical diagnosis of either, but I’m pretty sure I have both; and they could be treated with a big stick.

I’ve been working on a guitar piece that was humming softly in my brain when I got up this morning. It’s a chorus by Bill Gaither titled “Something Beautiful.”

The lyrics are:

Something beautiful,

Something good;

All my confusion

He understood;

All I had to offer Him was

Brokenness and strife,

But He made something beautiful

Of my life.

I “get” that song, or better yet God “got” me when He inspired Bill Gaither to write it. My world has been filled with confusion since day one, it’s what makes me, me. And it’s what frustrates anyone who has to deal with me. Even in reading what I just wrote I can imagine your eyes glazing over! But please bear with me as I let you in on something God shared with me this morning in my confusion…

Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, wrote in Ecclesiastes 3:11 ~ He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

In His Time

So, you’re not feeling beautiful today? Me either, inside or out. But God said He made every thing beautiful in His time… not mine. In Heaven when God created Shari, He created me just the way I am. His time is eternity past, present and future – and because I know (because scripture tells me) that He knew me before I was born I can be rest assured that my ADD behavior did not catch God off guard. ~

Jeremiah 1:5 ~ Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Somehow, someway, God has a plan for me. Not a new and improved version, this version. And in God’s time, where He is, where He can see yesterday, today and tomorrow He sees and loves me as He created me, as I am. In His time, age, size, hair color nor any other human elements matter. He sees us as He created us… beautiful. Who are we to argue?

In our Heart

God has set the world in their heart. He has placed within us a design, and inner working that allows us to know we are a part of His creation, but we must wait with patience (again… not my strong suit) to discover what that complex plan is from beginning to end. If we made a delectable baked dessert and took it out of the oven half way through it wouldn’t be eatable. But, wait until it’s done and it’s the delight the creator intended. I don’t know what God’s plan is for me… and that frustrates me to no end that He didn’t discuss it with me, but in truth He may have discussed it with me prior to my appearance on earth. The desires in my heart may have come from a conversation in eternity past, that’s why they’re my desires today. Interesting thought… But another truth is, that confusion comes from the fact that there is no good in me, except the goodness of God through the Holy Spirit. I have this old nature that continually battles with the new nature that came from Salvation. But in spite of it God gave me a job to do and it’s a gift. Listen to verses 12-13 ~ I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

The desires of my heart, the person God created me to be is a gift meant for enjoyment. So rather than living in discouragement we should remember that we came with a purpose instilled in our heart.

The Bible is your user manual… crack it open and get some direction for the day!