The disease of dis ease

I for certain am a work in progress. Especially when it comes to the social graces in life. There are days when I think I have diarrhea of the mouth and I just can’t keep it from running. I know… that’s gross right? Well I warned you about my social graces. But put me in a new or awkward situation and it’s even worse. I want to spill out everything I know in 20 seconds or less. I’ve become increasingly more aware of this lately. Add to that the new health concerns since the heart attack and the times I question… exactly what is that pain? And I’m a mess! So what can I do, other than go to God and say, “Lord, please help.” And for the last few days I’ve heard

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

1 Peter 3:4

That verse does not describe me. Mainly because people see Shari much more than they see the hidden man of the heart, which is Jesus Christ.

The Hidden

Apostle Paul understood the hidden Man when he wrote Galatians 2:20 “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

But the difference between Paul and Shari, is though I too was crucified with Christ upon the day of my salvation; crucifying the flesh is something I have to do again and again. I am not always so willing to allow Christ to have control of the flesh. That’s a personal decision for every one of us to allow Christ to have control. It’s not that we’re not saved, it’s that I’m not obedient. That stings my heart to even say the words, but I know its truth.

The Meek

The most misunderstood personality of them all. More often than not mistaken for weakness. But meekness is the ability not to say what you’re thinking. Not to do what you’d like. Tell me that’s not strength!? Perhaps not for you, but for me it takes great gobs of muscle power of the heart through Christ to pull back the reigns as I lunge toward the fleshly feelings that want to take over.

Meekness is absolute power under perfect control.

In the book of Numbers 12:2-3, Aaron and Miriam were chastised by God for their murmering against Moses. They questioned “Hath the Lord indeed spoken only by Moses? Hath he not spoken also by us? And the Lord heard it. (Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.)

Moses would not defend himself, but you can better believe that God defended him and reminded Aaron and Miriam that He spoke to Moses “mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches;” (Vs 8) showing Aaron and Miriam the respect that God had for Moses and his meekness in that His relationship with Moses was far greater than with the two of them.

Would to God I would shut my mouth sometimes and listen as Moses did…

The Quiet

The very thing I long for, but am so unwilling to be. The ever so wise Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4:6 “Better is a handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit.”

Stuff is not my friend. I want stuff. Lots of stuff. Which causes me travail and vexation of spirit.

Travail is effort. It’s a constant struggle for me to have more stuff. Things that take my focus off of the quietness of God. Not necessarily bad things, just stuff. I’m slowly, ever so slowly learning contentedness in my life. Learning… meaning I have by no means arrived. I perhaps may be barely out of preschool. But I’m learning that God perhaps did not intend for my mansion and my hearts desires to be fulfilled this side of glory. I am learning to be contented with my double wide home in a mansion frame of mind. Grateful for the gifts God has given…

Vexation is frustration and exasperation.  It’s difficult to find quietness in the midst of frustration. Almost impossible. My frustration with the state of affairs of the world and my life particularly vexes my soul and I lose my quiet. This morning my house is quiet. These words came “fairly easy.” But it’s been a week long struggle.

Oh God… that my soul would quiet down and the flesh would be squelched out of existence.

A meek and quiet spirit is to God of great price, because it was great price that He paid to get into the heart of man. God does not want my heart to ache in the manner it does, and not necessarily from heart disease. But more than likely from heart dis ease. Not a typo… I have to wonder how much of my life’s woes comes from not “dis” experiencing the “ease”, comfort of being a child of God.

A good question for myself today. Perhaps for yourself too.

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