The trouble with both of my marriages

lamentations

On August 16, 1980 I became the wife of David Wayne Johnson. And in the year 1996, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I became a member of the bride of Christ, which is the church.

Revelation 19:7

Let us be glad and rejoice and give glory to him; for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his bride has made herself ready.

On more than one occasion the church is referred to as the bride. It’s a depiction of union of the believers with God, and what a great picture! The marriage of a man and woman is a relational picture as well between we who are saved and God. It’s a covenant relationship which unfortunately on earth is marred, and often broken. But the relationship with God is not ever broken because He is perfect and aware of our every flaw; yet He loves us unconditionally any way. I am perfect! In Christ Jesus. I am ever so flawed in Shari Lynn Johnson.

Marriage may be easy for some, but it’s never been easy for me. There’s too much me involved in it. So as I read the scripture in 1 Peter 3:1-4 this morning about the behavioral expectation of the wife, my heart was pricked to say the least.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

So let’s go down my checklist of failing issues:

  • In subjection
  • Chaste conversation
  • Outward adorning
  • Wearing of gold
  • Putting on of apparel
  • Meek
  • Quiet

Wow. I highly doubt any of those would be on a list if you asked David to give adjectives that described his wife. I’m a rebellious spirited, loud mouth, make-up loving, sparkly clothes and jewelry wearing gal whose meek and quiet spirit is only revealed if the Holy Spirit is sitting on top of me. But… God loves me anyway. He also uses me anyway – which never shocks anyone as much as it does me. But the words this morning from this text drew me in when I read, “but let it be the hidden man of heart, in that which is not corruptible.”

No matter how hard I try being that perfect wife to David Johnson, I can’t. He would tell you that I try but fail miserably. But there is a hidden Shari that is perfect. It is the one that is hidden in Christ Jesus. That turned my thought process this morning in a 180° turn. When God looks at me, He does not look up on the loud, blingy babe that the world looks upon. He looks at the blood covered heart of a woman of God who believes she was redeemed on the cross of Calvary and walks and talks with Jesus on her way to the wedding supper of the Lamb.

In Christ Jesus there is no rebellion – Oh, I try. But He draws me back in and puts a desire in my heart to please Him and serve Him, as well as please and serve my husband David.

In Christ Jesus I am beautiful – with or without makeup Christ looks at me and sees the inward Shari. The one that is real. The one that is still a little girl at heart with dreams and passions that I still believe I’ll see come to fruition.

In Christ Jesus my fashion sense is irrelevant, because He’s placed a robe in glory that He’ll adorn me with when I get home that will top my most favorite outfit here on earth and it will be the perfect size that I’ll likely never achieve on earth.

I seldom view myself in the perspective of Christ Jesus, because this marred human nature of mine would rather I live in subjection to self, not Christ. And self is a failure. But today I begin again. Anew, just as the scripture says in Lamentations 3:22-23 ~ It is of the Lord‘s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The trouble with both of my marriages is me. It is the mercy of the Lord that He does not consume me with fire each day! Praise God His mercy is new every morning and I can begin again. Great is His faithfulness!

Having trouble seeing yourself from Christ’s vantage point? Find that meek and gentle spirit within yourself and listen very closely to what God has to say… shhhhhhh.

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