Author: talk2shari

Posted in Christian Service, Life Inspiration, Uncategorized

The Power in the Puppet

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Two of our youth surrendering to the Power of Puppetry and becoming the Hands of Jesus

For several years our church has had a puppet ministry. In the beginning it was a great opportunity for our church and well received by our congregation and other churches inviting us in. But as time went by the luster of puppet entertainment began to wane, both on leadership and youth commitment. So the puppets made their way into a closet and there they’ve stayed for a few years, occasionally making their way onto the scene of a Vacation Bible School or other youth event, but for the most part they set perched on their posts waiting for an opportunity to serve…. Hmmm… sound familiar?

I’ve watched many Christians do the same. They start out all gung ho and then little by little, their labor for the Lord becomes more burden than blessing and they begin to let one thing after another fall by the wayside until they find themselves sitting in the church, moving back one row, and then another, until they find themselves out in the vestibule (entryway) where they make the executive decision that it’s better to go home and stop taking up space.

As I walked past the puppet closet at our Church Sunday after Sunday, I could almost hear those little critters calling my name.. “Shari! We’re still waiting to tell someone about Jesus, but we can’t do it without your help!” Even as I type those words I tear up… I’m serious! I know I’m a sap! But the fact of the matter is these blessed tools of the ministry are just like us. If we’re not filled with the Spirit of God, and used in His service we stiffen up become less and less viable for the Kingdom’s use.

2 Chronicles 30:8 ~ Now be ye not stiffnecked, as your fathers were, but yield yourselves unto the Lord, and enter into his sanctuary, which he hath sanctified for ever: and serve the Lord your God, that the fierceness of his wrath may turn away from you.

The Stiffnecked Saint

We have a carnal nature within ourselves to become rigid (stiffnecked) when things don’t just flow along with ease and be rest assured they likely won’t in the ministry, especially when more than one person is involved. Seldom ever do two people agree about everything; throw 50-100 into the mix and you’ve got issues. If you’re not careful you’ll find yourself on a shelf in the closet and the ministry going on without you which is the equivalency of someone else getting your blessings. I’ve never handled that very well… I’m like Elisha… give me two blessin’s Lord!

A Surrendered Saint

Yielding to God is about as popular as popular as the brussel sprout line in the school cafeteria, because with yielding is the expectation of producing something. When a garden yields a good harvest it’s because the farmer put TLC into the production. A surrendered saint knows that when you allow the Holy Spirit to begin working in your life there’s going to be some yielding using both definitions. To yield, as in to stop doing things your way, and to yield as in to produce fruit for the Kingdom! The puppet is controlled completely by the puppeteer, imagine what a site a puppet show would be if the puppeteer was continually having to fight with the puppet to get it to move correctly. No one would want to see that show… well, I’ve seen Christians go kicking and screaming all the way into the will of God. It’s not a very good show either.

A Serving Saint

The puppets in the closet are useless unless they’re in the hands of the puppeteer, and it’s then that they become a sanctified minister of the gospel. It’s the same with us, we’re nothing without the Holy Spirit leading us and guiding us to say and do the right things. As sanctified (set apart) believers we have the ability to bring life to another human being by allowing the Holy Spirit to use us as the mouthpiece for the gospel. How we do that depends on our talents. Some do it in song, some do it in preaching and teaching, some do it in the silence of a prayer closet with just them and God, and crazy people like me do with critters and crazy antics. But to have the opportunity to be involved in an eternal purpose of the Lord requires a little loosening up. He may use you stiff, but you’ll probably break.

Be a Super Saint – Surrender to God’s Plan!

Posted in Christian Service, Life Inspiration, salvation

Have you accepted your invitation?

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banquet table

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife.

“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.

“Did you help him?” she asks.

“NO, I did NOT, it’s 3 am in the morning and it’s bloody pouring rain out there!”

“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!” “God loves drunk people too you know.”

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband. “Over here on the swing,” replied the drunk.

That story came to me by email; I have no idea of its origin, but it struck my heart funny this morning with a twinge of truth. Sometimes I feel that silly when trying to convince some people of their need of salvation. They’re playing games while I’m doing my best to help them out. They’re dangling over the pits of Hell on Satan’s swingset, giggling like a school child and I’m out in the cold exposed to the elements.

There was a similar story in the 22nd Book of Matthew.  Jesus spoke a parable (a story that illustrates a spiritual lesson) about a man whose son was about to get married. So he sent his servants out to invite his friends and family, but they wouldn’t come. He then sent his servants out a second time to extend the invitation with greater details about how awesome the event was going to be, but still they didn’t come. Some of them went so far as to kill his servants. Needless to say the king was angry and sent forth his military to destroy their city. The king then extended the invitation to people he didn’t even know, and the wedding party was on! Except for one guest, who came to the party but not for the Son.

Matthew 22:11-14 ~ And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.For many are called, but few are chosen.

Why was the King so concerned about his dress? Because the outward appearance reflected the inward man. He was playing games. He had not counted it a privilege and honor to come to the wedding, but had shown up expecting to enjoy the event as a spectator, not as a participant. And so it shall be with many on the day when Christ returns to take his church home. (1 Thessalonians 4:17).

That’s why it’s so heart wrenching when I share the Word of God with someone and they take it lightly. I am that servant that God has sent to invite them to the greatest event of their life, and yet I’ve been mocked and ignored (which is nothing in comparison to Christians in other areas of the world). But I do so without regret because of the few chosen.

Monday, during my lunch break, a friend and I stopped in at a Nursing Home in Glenville, WV. I hadn’t planned on stopping, it just kind of happened. I stopped by the rooms of a couple of our church members and encouraged them and loved on them a little… and then I made my way to the room of an unsaved man and invited him to the wedding. He didn’t have on his wedding garment yet. He was in bedclothes, disheveled from wrestling with life. But He accepted the invitation and his wedding garments are laid up for him in Heaven. God doesn’t care what we look like down here, but when we get to where He is, we better be wearing the robe of salvation.

If you’re not “churchy” let me help the rubber meet the road. Because of sin, man is separated from God who is 100% Holy. God’s only Son, was crucified on a cross to pay the penalty for sin, and open a door of communication between us and the Father. When this world ends… and it will, there’s a huge party in Heaven where we’ll be ushered in as the bride of Christ (because He loves us that much). But only those have accepted the invitations from God, who uses people like me (the servants of God) will be there. You can call me crazy, you can poke fun and refuse the invitation, but you’ve now been invited and are without excuse. Are you ready?

Posted in Life Inspiration

What is your perception?

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Matthew 16:15 ~ He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

It was a great discussion in our teen class yesterday when we posed the question “When you think of Jesus, how do you envision Him?” My co-teacher and ex-Marine envisioned Him in dress blues, a real man’s Man; some of the teens thought of Him in a glorious white robe, another teen thought it might be a more humble attire, I envision the Lamb now Lion in royal array, tastefully “blinged out.” The truth of the matter is we don’t know exactly what He’ll be wearing other than what we read in Revelation 19:13-16 ~ And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.

How He is dressed may not matter, but how we perceive Him personally matters a great deal. Modern day images today often paint Him as a small in stature man with beautiful eyes of compassion, long flowing hair and pastel garments. Well, I’m not even going to get into the hair argument because hairstyle just doesn’t make it or break it for me, I just love Jesus. But when it comes to stature, I’ll have to debate that one. The Revelation texts said He would smite the nations, and Jesus upsetting the tables in the temple and driving the religious thieves out with whips doesn’t strike me as a weak and small in stature Man. (John 2:15)

Our perception of God matters because how we approach Him matters. Matthew 11:29-30 ~ Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Many mistake meekness for weakness. Meekness shows great restraint, weakness is giving yourself over. HUGE difference. Christ yoke and burden are light because He carries the greater share of it. As Dennis Legg preached in our Sunday sermon yesterday, all Christians must pick up the cross, but Christ carries the heavy end.

The forgiving nature of Christians is often considered weakness but rather it too is meekness. If you’ve forgiven someone a huge debt, you know it is truth that it takes great restraint. It would be far easier to lash out at that person than to love them and never mention it. On that same note, when we sin it is often far easier to think of Jesus as the small in stature God rather than the One who is the Holy and Righteous Judge.

I fully believe that God is all to all. He has arms of compassion that I may run into when I’m hurt or afraid, and He has stern hands of judgment when I treat His grace carelessly. He is my Prince who rescues me, my Father who defends me from evil.

Who is He to you today?

Posted in Christian Service, Life Inspiration

The Function of the Unction

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image

1 John 2:20 – But ye have an unction from the Holy One, and ye know all things.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t always feel like I know all things. Sometimes even the most basic of scriptures will seem foreign to my mind. I’ll sit in frustration trying to cypher out the meaning of the Word of God and it just will not come. And other times a seemingly hard verse to understand will just open itself to my understanding and I’ll be like, “Woah baby, you’re good!” And then I’ll get that knock on my head from the Holy Spirit that says, “Are you Serious Shari? You couldn’t even understand the meaning of the most simplistic verses a few minutes ago,why are you taking credit for the work of the Holy Spirit?

That’s the function of the unction. It is the anointing of the Holy Spirit that reveals the Word of God with a deeper understanding; and its provided to the children of God who diligently seek Him.

Because Bible Study tools are so readily available I often resort to them to help me better understand a verse; and its not that there is anything wrong with that, but I as I discovered through reading the Word this morning, in so doing that I just may be missing out on a huge blessing by denying the Holy Spirit the opportunity to do His job.

1 John 2:27 – But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

A commentary is the the word of man, and he may or may not have been anointed when he wrote it. But if the Holy Spirit speaks to you it’s absolute truth, so which is better? My lesson from God this morning was that I need to be more desperate for God. It’s the theme of a youth conference that I’m attending this weekend and I believe it is what’s lacking in many of our lives. We want to hear from God, but we want it quick, little effort and no cost. And God, Who wants to bless us in abundance, desires to do it through our abiding in Him (staying close, as in a deep intimate relationship with Him… maybe even desperate. Believing our very existence depends on staying close to Him… and it does.

God’s generally not a shouter, if we hope to hear His still, small voice, we need to stay close.
An example of God’s love would be likened to taking teens on this weekend adventure of our Youth Evangelism Conference. Even though its a Christian event, I still want my brood near me. If one of them gets up to go somewhere I want to know where they’re going and who they’ll be with. God wants that constant relationship with us too. It is great that we have Christian teachers, preachers and study tools to learn about God… but we need to be within whispering distance of the Holy Spirit… Protected by the absolute truth.

Posted in Christian Service, Life Inspiration

Second Generation Awesome

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I met the first generation awesome as a new convert in the 1990’s. She was a frail looking little lady with a heart the size of the State of West Virginia. She was your typical grandmotherly looking woman with a pocket book dangling from her arm. She didn’t wear any bling that I can recall; she just arrived, listened and left. You’d barely notice her at all were it not for the way she pushed people outside their comfort zone with her obedience. The Pastor would at various times make mention of something the church or someone in the community needed. He’d say it in passing, not to act upon it at that time, but that this was something we were going to do. Before he would finish his sentence you’d see a rustling in back right hand corner of the church, and out she’d step with pocket book in tow, fumbling with the clasp. And then you’d hear those awe inspiring words, “Preacher, I’d like to give the first twenty.” If she did it once she did it one hundred times and it would catch the whole congregation off guard! Because she lived in income based housing I knew she wasn’t rich, but she gave in abundance to the needs of others.

She came to mind this morning because I had a meeting with second generation awesome last night. She probably wouldn’t like it if I called her by name but God and I know who she is. Like her mother she would go un-noticed by most, but not because of her style, because she’s got it goin’ on there. But because she’s a gentle soul and a soft spirit. She’s seldom out front but always the first to step up and do something; whatever it is that the Lord lays on her heart. Like her mother she probably pushes people out of their comfort zone because obedience is not a strong suit for most of us. If God tells us to give twenty dollars, we’re counting the bills to makes sure we have enough to spare, maybe only giving fifteen for fear we’ll need lunch money. But the truth is if God tells you to give twenty, you can’t afford not to, and you might want to consider giving thirty just to let God know you’re serious.

Luke 6:38

Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

“Second Generation Awesome” took the example her mother set before her and applied it not only to finances but to life, and every day she lives with a dangling pocket book in her heart, ready to step out and say “I’d like to give the first twenty.” It may be twenty dollars or twenty minutes but she’s ready to offer herself up for the service of the Lord. Her life is not perfect, she’s not without heartache or concerns, but I believe that because of her gift of generosity God has blessed her.

I didn’t write this today to make you or I feel less than adequate in the giving department. I wrote it because I think we all need a reminder that God’s storehouse doesn’t sit empty. It sits full of things we could give and do for the Lord, but don’t for any number of excuses. And because of that we’re missing out on the blessings of being a new generation of awesome. What’s in your pocketbook?

Posted in Christian Service, Life Inspiration

They didn’t know his name, but they knew his God

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1 Samuel 16:16-18 ~  Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well. And Saul said unto his servants, Provide me now a man that can play well, and bring him to me. Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the Lord is with him.

When Saul fell out of fellowship with God, God allowed an evil spirit to trouble him;I believe it is still the case today when someone who once served God stops serving Him, and begins serving the world again, that God will allow their to be trouble in their soul, an un-rest where there was once rest and peace. He’ll also allow a peace to be felt in the presence of other Christians in their lives to bring to remembrance the peace God once afforded them.

David had obviously made quite the impression on the community as a harpist (the original bluegrasser’s ya know), but not enough to make his name a household word. He was still referred to as “the son of Jesse.” He was known for his music, his mastery in war and life’s circumstances and he was quite the looker. All of that is in those verses, just not with the same adjectives I used to describe him, but its there. And last but not least they say “and the Lord is with him.” It was his secular talent that got him noticed, but it was obvious to everyone he was blessed by God.

What we do outside the church is important, and it’s important that we do it well. If we profess we are Christians, how awesome would it be that when someone described our character and abilities that they followed it with “and the Lord is with them.” They probably won’t. But you better believe that a Christian who does not do their job well will often be referred to as “and they say their a Christian…”

David was first noticed for his abilities, but they also knew that God’s hand was upon him. And who knows how many souls were saved because he drew attention to himself through his talents, but glorified God in the process. So… what are you doing with your talents today? Are you a person who desires God’s heart?

The world may not know your name, but what’s more important is that they know your God.

Posted in Life Inspiration

How to take the hard licks in life

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In 1970 Tootsie Roll Industries came up with the classic commercial “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.” You too probably remember the ad where the wise old owl when ask that question only made it to 3, but with a more disciplined audience the answer ended up being 144-252, it varied person to person. That ad came to mind this morning when I read John 1:16 – And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.

I know… strange how my mind works isn’t it?

But I began to wonder when examining that verse a little closer, about what it is that we have all received. I can’t even fathom what “His fullness” looks like; meaning everything that makes up Who Jesus is. Even though we are “made in his likeness” and it is He who dwells within the heart of a believer, Jesus is everything to everyone. I can’t even be who I need to be for any one person. I’ll let you down, quickly. Jesus will not fail you ever. And an even harder concept for me to grasp is “grace for grace”, which means we have received grace, heaped upon grace, piles of it… the fullness of Christ, which is immeasurable.

That thought brought great gratitude to my heart this morning because I need heaps of grace. But when doling out grace, I fear I’d be like Mr. Owl. How many licks does it take to get on my last nerve? Three. And then you’re out. But oh, when I need grace, I’m begging for the endless supply. That is why I don’t understand the concept of John 1:16. You can’t get what you don’t give – heaps of grace. This is a valuable lesson that I’d like to learn and I only know one way to learn it… taking the hard licks in life a little more gracefully.

I wonder if I could see the grace I’ve received stacked up against the grace I’ve been given, what would it look like. Shameful for certain. Christ is set before us as the example and I am without excuse. Lord, I pray that I’ll be quick to give that which I’ve received today. Amen.

2 Peter 3:18 – But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

Posted in Christian Service, Leadership, Life Inspiration, salvation

The Boundary Setter

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2 Timothy 1:9-11 ~ Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel: Whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles.

I love scripture that affirms eternity past and future, purpose and position in life. It makes sense of my nonsensical world. Timothy was a young believer and Pastor privileged to be mentored by none other than the great apostle Paul. Paul’s burden for Timothy was apparent in his letters to him, and their mutual respect for another’s genuine faith. He was touched by Timothy’s tender heart, verse 4 says ~ Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy;” and as Paul’s time grew short on earth he was grateful to have a comrade on the battlefield in whom he could depend. Paul and Timothy’s faith allowed them to apply the past to the purpose of the present so that their future could be anticipated with promise.

The planning in the past

Before the world began God’s plan was in action and I was in it! I know, it shocks even me that with all of God’s planning and time I wouldn’t have turned out better. But it’s not about me or my abilities (my works) it’s about His own purpose. That’s where it gets foggy for me. I try to impose my disabilities on God’s abilities. God says show up as you are and He will use us where we are, but so often I think there has to be advanced planning. There was….in eternity past God provided the grace we’d need for today. It’s already there before our feet hit the floor in the morning.

The purpose of the present

is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ. Manifest – meaning it’s now made known. I know, I know, if you’re like me you don’t see it often times either. But it’s there in the evidence of Christ at work in your life. I’m amazed at the awesome people that God puts in my life at specific times; those who have just appeared at the right time. Every pivotal experience in my life generally has a new person involved that made it possible. God working through them. But even more amazing than that is when “I’m that person.” I fear that I’m missing the boat of opportunity because I don’t often step up or out when God nudges me for fear of stepping over the bounds. However, who’s bounds am I in fear of stepping over, God’s or mans.

Acts 17:24-27 says “God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshipped with men’s hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things; And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitiation; That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:

I love that! The boundaries that God has set were determined from the beginning of time and so long as I continue to search for Him, He’ll continue to direct my paths and place people in my path. I need to stop focusing on the boundaries and spend more time focusing on the boundary setter.

The promise of the future

…who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel: Whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles.

Christ came to provide eternal life through the light of the Gospel, and He chooses to use vessels like you and I to spread that hope.  If we’ve been saved, we’ve received the appointment; it’s on our schedules whether we want it or not. Someone, somewhere needs to see Christ in you today, their future may depend on it.

Posted in Christian Service, Leadership, Life Inspiration

The Very First Ministry Created on Earth… are you a part of it?

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Genesis 2:15

 And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

The first ministry on earth. Adam was placed in a location and given the job of taking care of what God had created; and so it continues in the year of our Lord 2014. It seems pretty simplistic, and yet for many it is nowhere on their list of priorities, or if it is, it falls just shy of taking out the trash. They do it because it’s necessary, but not enjoyable.

I don’t for two seconds believe that’s how God intended it. I believe that as Adam tended to creation he did so with joy in his heart and a desire to serve and please the Creator. It should be the same today, but the world gets in the way and we lose focus of His design. We were created to take care of the created… each other.

As a child in the hills of Braxton County, West Virginia, on my Great Grandmother Duffield’s property, we had what we dubbed “The Moss House” in the woods. It was a moss covered piece of ground in the thick woods where we would gather and make “rooms” by moving the moss into different locations. I thought it was an exclusive idea of my group of cousins, only to discover in a conversation with my older sister years later, that they thought it was their idea. Truth be told my mother probably played the same game. Ministry is much the same. We all think we’re creating something new, but the truth of the matter is we’re just tending to what God created. But it’s fun to be creative with it!

So as our ministry team at Victory Baptist Church begins to refocus on “that place in which the Lord placed us in 2014, my desire is to motivate and then move out of the way by meeting with our youth leadership team and ask them

What Did God create us to do in this place in which He placed us?

Below is a 7 point outline using the acronym C.R.E.A.T.E.D. to sum up our role and motivate one another as leaders in the church:

  • Challenge ~ There’s two ways to look at a challenge. It’s a task– The challenge of how far can we go with this ministry, and it’s a trial – There are challenges that we face in the youth ministry, the greater the challenge, the greater God will be glorified. What’s the challenge?
  • Results ~ There nothing like one great accomplishment to give you the desire for another. It’s how we’re made. But in order to have accomplishments there has to be goals set. What are our ministry goals?
  • Enthusiasm ~ If we’re excited about what’s happening, it’s bound to rub off on the rest of the church. What is something you’d get excited about doing? Let’s do it!
  • Attitude ~ It’s your attitude not your aptitude that determines your altitude as someone so cleverly said. What attitudes are helping, and what attitudes are hindering?
    •  Attitudes we deal with in the ministry –
      • Fear (I’m afraid if I do this… this might happen.)
      • Pride (I don’t want to fail in front of people)
      • Doubt (of ability or agility on both ends of the age spectrum) Think Joash who became King at Seven, and Moses who didn’t get called until he was 80. Age is not an excuse for not serving.
  • Transformation – When things get stale, throw a little change in the mix, and we have new motivation. Our church as has had a major game changer this year. We are Pastorless… not leaderless. There have been some great transformations in leadership simply because change happened. What can we do different?
  • Endangered – Telling someone that a critter has become endangered will create a flurry of people coming to that critters rescue. Well, churches are becoming endangered… or at least solid, Bible teaching and preaching churches with leadership with a backbone. Please… come to our rescue and join the fight.
  • Dreams – Leaders are visionaries. Wanting to accomplish something bigger. If you could dream of anything at all, the wildest craziest dream ever for your ministry. What would it be? Let’s do it.

We were created in the image of God with a design by God for our work; we weren’t created to sit idle. So I have to ask the question… What part of the garden did God give you a desire to tend and what ideas did He plant inside of you about it?