Tag: failure

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The Mess of Success. Its bull.

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Every day I strive to be a better Shari. Every day I feel like an epic fail. I have the grandest of intentions (the road to Hell is not the only one paved with them). Whatever project that I’m involved with chaos quite often ensues, just ask my church family. My house and my car are organized clutter. Meaning I know it’s there, I just often have to dig for it. My husband says if I’m in an accident it won’t be what’s outside the car that will kill me. I’m blessed with family and friends of high tolerance, but why do they do it? I think their reason is because among the mess has been an occasional success.

Proverbs 14:4 says Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.

This verse was pointed out to me through a sermon I listened to a few weeks ago and I’ve not been able to get it out of my head. Mainly because every time I get in my car or walk into my house I think “Oh yeah, I meant to take care of that.” But the flip side of that is when my feet hit the floor at 4:30 a.m. each day my mind is on the ministry. I’m not saying I’m a super saint, it’s just who I’ve been since salvation in 1996. And this verse summed it up for me… there’s a mess in the ministry.

Your mess is likely different. But I can almost guarantee if you’re serving God there’s a mess around you somewhere. Relationships get messy in the ministry, even though you’re supposed to have all the answers. If you have children they’re likely imperfect and highly visible to church critics. Your finances are not what they should be, even though you try to live life biblical. Perhaps your issue is a quick temper or lack of discipline in your life. The point is if you’re in the ministry there is likely a mess somewhere in your life that makes you wonder why God chooses to use you at all. Or am I the only one?

It’s not hard to imagine what the stall of an ox is filled with or what it smells like. It has to be shoveled out and even then it leaves a trail of nastiness behind. But the labor of the field wouldn’t be getting done if the ox wasn’t in the stall. So before you (or I) are too hard on ourselves for the messes in life, remember… that mess just might be what equals success. The world doesn’t need to see perfect people in the ministry (Hallelujah!!!!). They need to see real people working through their day.

So, shovel out the barn and head to the field. You know what the Lord says, “for they are white already to harvest.” – John 4:35

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Unraveled at the Feet of Jesus

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Trying to find a biblical family in the scripture to model your family after is next to impossible. Dysfunction doesn’t even begin to describe it. From the beginning it was filled with disobedience, betrayal and murder. So it should not come as a surprise that our own families are so messed up today, and yet when it happens we’re shocked. And when you couple the fact that those stories of dysfunction were within God’s chosen leaders of the day, who weren’t perfect, but their relationship with the Lord was to be desired; what does that say about us? Few of us have a relationship with the Lord that’s as tightly knit. So we unravel… and our family isn’t what we envisioned, and neither are we.

I can write from the heart of dysfunction. If God were still adding text to the Bible (and He’s not by the way), but if He were, there could likely be the book of Shari. Perhaps many sermons would be preached from my text with a title like “The Diva of Dysfunction.” There likely would not be the intrigue as many books of the Bible entail, but there would be comedy and chaos, heartache and hindrances to the will of God, fractured moments and failed missions. Several trips to the wood shed for certain. But… in the midst of it all you’d find Mercy. And me at His feet… unraveled.

From Heaven I have a feeling my life looks like a tangled mess of God’s intentions. Maybe yours does too. We have to remember that regardless of what we do, God does see the other side.

  • Poor decisions can take us down a wrong path. And though the distance is rougher and longer, God can still bring us to His intended spot.
  • Broken relations were not His plan, but the healing that He provides can make you stronger and more appreciative of the unbroken.
  • Finances may not be your forte, (it’s not mine) but by giving back to Him what we were entrusted with, perhaps that seed will take root and grow in ways we can’t even imagine. Or He may just give us contentment… and that’s okay too.
  • Sometimes family is the tie that binds, and sometimes it’s the tie that gags, but it’s the foundation of the gospel. We are the family of God. And if He can put up with our shenanigans do we not owe our family the same. A man who sought God’s wisdom ask his counselor “When can I stop caring.” The counselor’s reply was “When God does.”

If I wrote an exhaustive list of dysfunctions you wouldn’t take the time to read my blog. So let’s put it like this. You fill in the blank. “Dear God, ________________ is unraveling in my life. And I need you to knit it back together.”

Scripture says in Colossians 2:2 ~ That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ;

We don’t know the end of our story. But we can be comforted in the knowledge that we are loved and that God’s plan is still on track. That tangled mess that we see, will one day be a viewed as a beautiful tapestry …or perhaps a cable knit sweater.

I hope today finds your life at peace, and wrapped up in the love of God

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The Overcomer’s Club

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Let me premise this blog by stating that I’m not a psychologist, or expert in mental health. I did however stay at the Stonewall Jackson Resort this week, which may qualify me in some manner as much as some of those “experts” that I’ve heard speak. I understand depression from the victim’s point of view, being one who has struggled with it for years and since salvation in 1996 have not mastered, but managed my own through relying on God’s grace to pull me through. That sounds all pious and religious, but in truth just means that I quit trying to fix it on my own and began asking God to help me through it. Each time was different, sometimes were darker than others. It varied from a nightlight of hope to a dimly lit room, it was never utter darkness for me, because in Christ I truly did have light, even though it was sometime shrouded by the trouble of the day.

If you struggle with depression this blog will not fix you, its 710 word after all. How far can that take you? What I hope it does is to “turn up the light” a little in your life today. J

.B. Phillips, author of Your God is Too Small, dealt with depression all of this life. In one of his many letters he offered this comment to someone struggling with depression. “As far as you can, and God knows how difficult this is, try to relax in and upon Him. As far as my experience goes, to get to even a breath of God’s peace in the midst of pain is infinitely worth having.”

For me that “breath of God’s peace” was my nightlight in dark times. In my heart I knew that “God had this.”, my head however would sometimes join the liars club and berate me with thoughts of defeat and discouragement. That’s Satan at his finest isn’t it? If you’re a Christian he can’t get into your heart, because Christ dwells there. So in the very core of you there is always a light. But in your mind, where the world can seep in, Satan has free reign to beat his drum and loud and long he will until you’re spiraling into the direction of depression.

So how do you spiral out?

Again… I’m not an expert. This is what works for me. I place myself in the winner’s circle with those who God’s shown me battled depression.

  1. The woman of Samaria in John 4 who came to the well in the heat of the day to avoid the judgmental eyes of society and met the one true Judge, who didn’t condemn her but loved her out of the lifestyle she as in.
  2. Moses wanted to die in Exodus 32:32, asking God to blot his name out of the book because of what the children of Israel had done with the golden calf – yet, he was the greatest leader ever known.
  3. 3.      Elijah sat down under a juniper tree in I Kings 19:4 and told God “It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life.”  The same Elijah who had brought fire down from Heaven.
  4. 4.      King David, my hero in the faith in Psalm 6:6 said I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.
  5. 5.      The widow in I Kings 17:12 who had come to the end of her finances and was prepared to die a death of starvation with her child, when God sent an endless supply of provision.

The overcomers club! There were times that they had self-inflicted depression and other times it came from the outside, just like mine. But God brought them through! None of them were perfect, their sins rivaled the worst, and yet God’s mercy and grace is shown all over them. It is in those stories that I come to the “Why not me?” phase of healing. If God did it for them, why not me? They were just ordinary, messed up people, just like me.

I’m not an expert at much, but I may be nearing the benchmark of an expert in failures. But… God’s got me covered. Amen!

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What Prompted that?

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The memory is a funny thing, not funny haha but in the peculiar sense of the word. Out of the blue I’ll have a crazy thought come into my mind, a blast from the past so to speak, and I’ll wonder what on earth prompted that thought. A flood of emotions often comes along with it and a renewed sense of happiness, sadness or fear depending upon the memory. Spiritually I do the same. Sometimes it’s a scripture I’ve read, or sermon I’ve heard; other times it’s a failure that I’ve committed and my heart twists and breaks again as if I’d just done it again. Other times I’ll grapple with remembering even the smallest of things and think I’ve lost my mind all together. That’s a pretty frequent occurrence.

One of my favorite bible characters that I identify with on so many levels (mostly of failure) is Peter. I “get” his “leap and the net will appear, speak before you think, I’ll never forsake you Lord” attitude. It really does define me.

Matthew 26:75 ~ And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.

Peter remembered his promise; he remembered the friend he said he’d be. And now look….what a mess he was in. What a failure. What a friend? Why could not his memory have failed him this time? Why did he have to recall that day when he had so boldly proclaimed his dedication to the Lord? Peter failed Christ just as we all do and God brings it to mind not to reprimand us again, He forgave it when it occurred; but more as a catapult to launch us forward and to keep us from a repeat performance. Peter wept bitterly that night, but later Peter won thousands to the Lord!

My Dad went home to be with Jesus several years ago, and just weeks before he did I was visiting him in his hospital room with my Mother. Dad’s memory never failed him, God was so gracious with us on that. He sat on the side of his bed and recalled being five years old and sitting beneath an apple tree looking down on his parents who were working in a field. As a five year old he told God, “If you let me keep my parents until they’re old, I’ll serve you.” With tears in his eyes he told us of how God reminded him of his childhood prayer when he was 30 years old and he heard the words of God prompt his memory by saying “You promised.” Dad gave his life to Christ and began serving the Lord and what a servant he was! That memory launched him. Yes he had failed God. He’d not lived for Him as he’d promised, but he would then.

Peter failed. Dad failed. I’ve failed and you’ve failed. It’s a fact of life. Use that error in judgment as a catapult to service. God knows you’re better than that because it is He created you better than that. Peter continued on, still making mistakes because he was human, but God used him to win thousands to the Lord and we’re still talking about him today. Satan will take a failure and remind you again and again of who you were; remind him of who he is. A fallen angel with a future in hell. You are child of God with a future in Heaven.

Memories are sometimes painful. Make them purposeful.

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Wake up and S~T~R~E~T~C~H

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There’s something about getting out of bed, raising your hands to the sky and stretching out the muscles and bones; it just feels good! It brings the body to life and gets you motivated and moving. There’s power in the stretch. Add God to the equation and things happen. When scripture mentions God stretching, there was a powerful effect.

When God Stretches There is Freedom

Exodus 6:6  ~ Wherefore say unto the children of Israel, I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will rid you out of their bondage, and I will redeem you with a stretched out arm, and with great judgments:

When God stretched out His arm over the children of Israel He brought them out of a 400 year bondage. All that generation had known was Pharaoh’s control; they’d never experienced freedom. Is it any wonder they didn’t know what to do with it when they finally got it? They’d never experienced their own wealth or their own will. The task masters told them when to get up and when to lie down. But now, God had stretched forth His arm and brought them out and for the first time in their lives they could make their own decisions. When God’s brings us out of the bondage of sin it’s much the same way. There is a wonder in feeling the freedom of forgiveness; it’s almost too good to be true! So what do you do with it? Just like Israel, the decision is yours. You can continue to try and figure life out on your own, or you can trust the One Who brought you out. You didn’t do a thing to warrant salvation. Christ paid that price in full, your responsibility now is to thank Him, praise Him and live in a way that brings glory to His name.

When God Stretches Us There is Victory

Joshua 8:18-19

And the Lord said unto Joshua, Stretch out the spear that is in thy hand toward Ai; for I will give it into thine hand. And Joshua stretched out the spear that he had in his hand toward the city. And the ambush arose quickly out of their place, and they ran as soon as he had stretched out his hand: and they entered into the city, and took it, and hasted and set the city on fire.

Joshua had a gift for leadership, it began with great faith and a can do attitude. He had seen the waters parted, the Egyptian army leveled, he’d seen the price of 40 years for disobedience, he’d watched the wall of Jericho fall with a shout and now he stood before Ai for the second time having just been beaten because of a sin in the camp. But this time there would be victory!

It stretches us to believe God for the victory when we’ve experienced so many failures. The victory comes with a right heart, and determination that we’re going to do this thing right. If Joshua had focused on the failures, victory would not have come. If we’re going to win the battle before us we have to learn from the losses and wait for the win. When God told Joshua to stretch he did and the ambush arose quickly. If you’ve got a battle before you, do it right. Confess what’s wrong – your sin. Count on what’s right – God sovereignty. Continue on in what’s ordered.

Isaiah 14:27

For the Lord of hosts hath purposed, and who shall disannul it? and his hand is stretched out, and who shall turn it back?

God has a purpose for our lives, and He’ll align it all with a stretched out hand for Victory if we’ll stay steadfast in His word and ways. Amen!

Are you looking for direction? Let’s pray together. Post your request below and together we’ll pray that God stretches out His mighty hand and make things happen!

 

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When shortfalls become long falls…

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Genesis 28:11-19
The story goes that Jacob, the grandson of the friend of God, Abraham is quite the deceiver. He takes advantage of his brother Esau and takes his birthright, and then later his blessing and inheritance by deceiving his father Isaac in his old age, and for his own safety is sent away to find a good woman in his mother’s homeland. But God did not allow Jacob’s deception to disrupt His destiny.
Genesis 28:15 ~ And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.
That ought to put a shout you! But, maybe you’re not as messed up as I am. Possibly you haven’t made a million wrong decisions, or failed God the way I have. But if you have, then you understand the significance of this story. God takes care of His own, in spite of their shortfalls, or in my case “long falls.”
God spoke the words to Jacob in a dream as he lay his head upon a rock for pillow. He later took his pillow and made a pillar anointing it with oil as an altar to The Lord in gratitude for the Lord’s faithfulness. Jacob knew he didn’t deserve the blessings that were about to come his way, nor do we deserve what God has in store for us, and yet it’s there.
Last night in the teen class we had a long discussion about our shortfalls for Christ and the guilt that we place upon ourselves, often to the point of detriment by allowing it to put us into a state of depression or unworthiness. There is no doubt that when Jacob left his home he was not only feeling fear for his life, but guilt for his living. He may have thought that through his actions he had destroyed the hope of Israel. But the ladder is Jacob’s vision in verses 12-13 shows God standing above it and angels ascending and descending on it. God’s ways are high above our ways, and while we are messing things up down here, God and His host of angels are taking care of business on high and our destiny will be fulfilled.
God’s got a plan for his children and although our mistakes break His heart, they don’t break His covenant with us, God is so much bigger than that.
Take heart dear friends, if you’re feeling less than deserving of the grace of God. He’s standing on the ladder that He has every intention of seeing us climb. Spiritually and positionally in life. Stay faithful! and take the time to show your gratitude throughout the day.
Be blessed! and bless me with your comment if this spoke to your soul today.