Tag: King David

Posted in Christian Service, Praise

Asking the Question, Who Am I Lord?

Written by talk2shari Published Discussion Leave a Comment on Asking the Question, Who Am I Lord?

I remember my early years in Calhoun County, at the tender age of 9ish, of God speaking to my heart. I remember hearing the word Armageddon, and the Bible warnings of wars to come and feeling a deep fear in my heart. I knew only enough to be fearful; but the fear faded and I went on with my little girl thoughts and ways. I remember that fear coming back off and on through my pre-salvation life. I remember playing church as a young adult and having no understanding whatsoever about who God was or who I was. I didn’t understand why (at the time) I had such struggles and heartache in my life. I was never told I was lost, I was never told I was saved, not so much as I could remember. Not in those terms. But I knew I wasn’t right with God.

Scroll forward through a few decades to 1996 when I had my first God encounter as an adult. I sat in the back row of a new church, listening to the gospel for what felt like the very first time in my life, although it wasn’t. It was just the first time that I actually heard and received the Word into the depth of that little girl heart. I was in awe. Week after week I wept, I worshipped and wondered why that experience had never come before? I felt the power of God working in me and through me and suddenly I became somebody. 

That sounds arrogant right?

I wasn’t anybody in the world, but I was somebody in the Kingdom. God placed people in my life who literally spoon fed me the gospel until I could take it with a fork. And then with a knife and fork, cutting the meat of the word apart and discerning it for myself. And I, like David in the book of Chronicles, thought, “Who am I Lord?”

“Who am I, O LORD God:” –  1 Chronicles 17:16b

Who Am I

I had been a nobody my entire life; fading into the background of family, friends, school, church… Even as loud and as obnoxious as I am, I felt as if I was no more than an annoyance to the people around me. But then God came into my heart and I was somebody. I felt as if I had purpose for the first time in my life. 

I’ve told the story several times before of standing with my hairbrush microphone as a child, but I wasn’t singing like most kids, I was talking. I had something to say. That was a dream I had, but had no concept of it ever coming to fruition. So when I began to speak, and I witnessed that dream come to pass, I felt David’s words in my soul “Who am I Lord, that the God of the universe would use me to speak for Him?” 

I have no grand illusion that I am of the caliber of David, but in that same scope I also understand what a big deal it is that God speaks to me just as He did David. And to you for that matter! I’m not God’s favorite, although sometimes He makes me feel like it. 

David’s worship and prayer had came on the heels of God telling him “No,” to building the tabernacle. He tells David that the tabernacle will come through the earthly kingdom of his son, and it does when Solomon built the most magnificent of houses for the Lord. David doesn’t pout and ask God why, but rather praises and worships Him for allowing himself to be a part of the purpose. 

Are you a part of the purpose? Is God using you, whether now, or through what your building to build His kingdom? 

When I thought of speaking as a little girl, speaking for God wasn’t on my mind. I speak of the current trend or random thought that I had. Something goofy that had nothing to do with anything of a spiritual sort. I also had a desire to sing, but God never allowed me to utter a public solo note until I was ready to be used in His service. And I knew it. I knew that God had set me aside and although I could sing the Eagle’s hit song “You can’t hide your Lyin’ eyes” and people would go on as to how they enjoyed it, it didn’t mean anything compared to standing before God’s people and worshiping Him with them. It wasn’t about me. I also knew (before anyone thinks it) that I wasn’t the greatest singer in the world. But that didn’t matter either. I was somebody in the Kingdom of God. And so are you. 

O LORD, for thy servants sake, and according to thine own heart, hast thou done all this greatness in making known all these great things. O LORD, there is none like thee, neither is there any God beside thee, according to all that we have heard with our ears. – I Chronicles 17:19-20

You are God

It makes me want to puke when I hear anyone reference any other ‘god’ besides the one true God. Because I know that if He would speak to a nobody like me at the age of 9, He has no doubt spoken to every heart on this planet, and they know. They may deny Him, but they know. He gave them the same opportunity He gave me, but for what ever reason the allowed the demonic side of this earth to win out in their minds. 

There are people who would read that and be so offended that I dare say they’re controlled by a demonic force, but it doesn’t take the truth away. If you’re not God’s then you are theirs. 

1 John 2:22 KJV

Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.

I belonged to that demonic force before 1996. That is why, like King David I’m amazed that God pulled me out of it and used me. Because even now I’m unworthy, but I’m covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. Even now, there are sins in my life but they’re forgiven. All sins, past, present and future. They are not justified. I am justified through Christ. God doesn’t see my sin, He sees His Son. In that I stand amazed. 

Three in One

A concept that is almost, if not entirely impossible to understand pre-salvation is the Trinity of God. But through the Spirit, it not only becomes understood, it becomes experienced.

When I pray to God in Heaven, I feel Him.

When I read His Word I feel Him.

When I worship Him in word or song, I feel Him.

God is meant to be experienced and the more we experience Him, the more deeper connection we have with the Trinity. You know He’s watching you, you know when you hold the Bible in your hand it is Him through His word, and His Spirit will absolutely make your heart go pitter patter when the Spirit wants to show out! 

1 John 5:7-15 KJV

For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one. And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one. [9] If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God which he hath testified of his Son. [10] He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of his Son. [11] And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. [12] He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. [13] These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. [14] And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: [15] And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

For 26 years, I’ve served God in countless capacities. Speaker, writer, singer, youth ministry, nursing home ministry, women’s ministry, evangelist… There were times I felt as if I was being sidelined and my heart broke… I’ve been there for a few years now. But through the faithfulness and encouragement of friends and ministry affiliates such Dewey Moede, who I have served with for 11 years, I’ve stayed put, knowing that the promises God gave that nine year old girl, he would never renege. I may be old… but I still have dreams. Dewey is 67, and he still has dreams. My friend and ministry goal, Doyle Ballengee, died at the age of 80, as excited as a new convert, it never got old for him. Lord, let it be so for me. 

Who am I? I am Yours, Lord.

Posted in Christian Service, Health, Life Inspiration

Bugs are Serious Business on Mind, Body and Soul

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I’m not sure what kind of bug caught up with me, and with six grandchildren in school and being in constant meetings and crowds its very difficult to say, but let me tell you this much, the bug that caught me this week was wicked. Little by little it has crept through my veins over several days just giving me a hint of what was to come, and then out of nowhere on Thursday evening, I was down. Down to the point of being in bed and not moving. Frustrated and angry at myself (that’s how I role) for “allowing” this bug to catch me. And on dreary days no less when I can see no sunshine or hope for a brighter future and my inward drama mama attacks my mind telling me that I’m surely going to die. Well… aren’t we all eventually! That’s been my state of mind this week. It gradually got better Saturday when I was able to rise up from my bed and rejoin the living, but this was a pretty serious attack on my already downed spirit.

King David had such a day as he describes in Psalm 63

Gill’s Commentary says that this psalm was composed by David, either when he was persecuted by Saul, and obliged to hide himself in desert places, as in the forest of Hareth, the wildernesses of Ziph, Maon, and Engedi, 1 Samuel 22:5; all which were in the tribe of Judah, Joshua 15:55; or when his son Absalom rebelled against him, which obliged him to flee from Jerusalem, and go the way of the wilderness, where Ziba and Barzillai sent him food, lest his young men that were with him should faint there, 2 Samuel 15:23.

It’s hard for me to conceptualize my whiny bug day in comparison to David’s life being threatened by either his friend or his son. That seems a little more serious than the flu. But the issue with me and the flu is, it’s also in the midst of some really harsh reality about my health. Because I don’t in any way shape or form take care of myself, my health (heart) is also not in a good way. A doctor’s appointment would shed some light on that, but the level of my loathing of going to a doctor cannot be described in words. I went to my primary physician this week because the pharmacy refused to refill my meds until I did. (Not cool). When he asked how long it had been since I had seen my cardiologist, he was equally unhappy and said he would be referring me once again. Why I felt compelled to share that with you I have no idea, other than I felt the need for you to know the level of stupidity you’re dealing with when reading my advice.

But I can say flat footed and eye to eye to you friend, I have not once been forsaken by my Lord. The person who lets me down the most is me.

So… back to David and his dilemma.

Psalm 63:1-11 KJVS
O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

No Water for the Weary

David likely speaks in both the literal and spiritual sense. For me it is the case too. There is plenty of both Spiritual Water and literal water available to me. The problem is, when I’m down – – I partake of neither. I talk to God, all day every day, I drink all day every day, but not water. I drink coffee, Coke Zero and an occasional Sweet Tea. None of which replaces the goodness on the body that pure natural water does. And while prayer is vital, it does not replace the reading and studying of the Word of God. Whew… that was a needful reminder.

John 4:10 KJVS
Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.

No Reason not to Worship!

[2] To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. [3] Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. [4] Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. [5] My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:

David spends time reflecting on his time in the sanctuary of the Lord, when he worshipped and praised God. The effects of Worship on the human body and soul is amazing. I can be having one of the worst days ever but then hear a sweet song of the Lord and immediately I am encouraged. But, by the same token, my second favorite thing to do is to set in complete silence. I love it. But it’s not always healthy, because in the silence there is void and Satan will take every opportunity to fill a void in your life. Was that a word for you? Because it sure was for me. I need to be very aware when I am enjoying the silence in my day that there’s not subtle words being spoken to my mind by the ol Demon himself or his cronies. Telling me things like, give up Shari, you’re too sick.

No Worries In the Shadow of His Wings

[6] When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. [7] Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice. [8] My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me. [9] But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth. [10] They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes. [11] But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.

I learned, sometimes too well, that there is a difference between worry and concern. I have mastered the skill of turning worry off by replacing it other thoughts. The problem with that theory is I some times turn concern off too. But one of the greatest blessings in my life since day one of salvation is the ability to run under the shadow of the His wings and allow Him to conceal me from the enemy.

He not only does that for me, He does that for you. But it is the enemy’s job to make us feel weak even when we’re not. But on days of illness, depression or the struggle of life it is very easy for him to steal the peace that God affords when His children run to His side to be hidden beneath His wings. David knew it. I know… even though I still listen to that idiot the Devil many times as he whispers lies in my ear.

Join my in prayer for each other today. I’m praying for you… that God will wrap His arm around you and allow you to feel the presence of His Holy Spirit in your life. What ever you are facing, remember that many have tread that road before you. Including the Lord. Lots of love and hugs from The Jesus Chick.

Posted in Christian Service, Leadership, Life Inspiration

The God of Order

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The chaos of life drives me to seek order. That is so not a familiar spirit in my soul. I am after all the gal who leaps and believes the net will appear. If I’m honest I can tell you that there have been several instances where the net did not appear because perhaps I jumped off the wrong cliff. I didn’t think things through, or perhaps half-heartedly listened to God, desiring to fulfil my own agenda.

But something happened, medically speaking, a few months ago that caused me to get my physical self in order which had an effect on my spiritual self. I decided to give in and see a doctor regarding the pain management of my Fibromyalgia. A diagnosis I was not willing to accept for a very long time, (years) until I was barely walking in the mornings. So short story… the doc prescribed two prescriptions, Cymbalta for the morning and Gabapentin for the night. (Not an endorsement, just a statement of fact.) and my life dramatically changed. I don’t say that for dramatic effect, something inside my brain changed from chaos to order. The pain was managed (to a degree). I want to be honest. I’m not pain free. But the most amazing thing about this experience was a desire for order. That too is a learning process.

This morning I read 1 Chronicles 15:12-15 regarding David’s decision to bring the Ark of the Covenant back to the children of Israel and from the house of Obed Edom where they had left it when God killed Uzza for touching it. (1 Chronicles 13:10)

David speaking to the servants of God:

 12 And said unto them, Ye are the chief of the fathers of the Levites: sanctify yourselves, both ye and your brethren, that ye may bring up the ark of the Lord God of Israel unto the place that I have prepared for it. 13 For because ye did it not at the first, the Lord our God made a breach upon us, for that we sought him not after the due order. 14 So the priests and the Levites sanctified themselves to bring up the ark of the Lord God of Israel. 15 And the children of the Levites bare the ark of God upon their shoulders with the staves thereon, as Moses commanded according to the word of the Lord.

The words “due order,” captured my attention. Getting things out of order cost a man his life. God’s plan to carry the Ark was specific with certain people, placed in certain positions for certain purpose.

Certain People

Much of the time when I have “leaped” and face planted it was because I was leaping off of someone else’s cliff. My impatience for waiting for God to position His person in place would lead me to assume roles that were not mine to assume. Case in point I would volunteer for anything that didn’t get immediately filled because I wanted the job done.

When David was attempting to return the Ark to the City of David, he looked only at the end location, not the journey. It never entered his mind that there was an order to the journey. The Levites, not Uzza were to carry the Ark. The Ark was also be born upon staves, not carried on a cart. God had certain people in place and David’s replacement of those people altered God’s plan.

Certain Positions

When David finally came to himself, and realized it was not about himself, but rather God’s will and way, he looked again at the order of God’s plan for the Ark’s return. He put the Levites in their place of baring the Ark on staves. When we read on through Chapter 15 we discover that his attention to the details were much greater! He appointed singers and musicians and all sorts of numbers of God’s people in the places for which they were chosen to serve. He did not leap and pray the net appeared, he planned. Glory to God I could learn! David’s attention to detail was right down to the robe he wore, and the linen ephod which thoroughly torqued his wife Michal off. He didn’t do it in the way of the people. He did it in the way of the Lord.

Certain Purpose

David’s original plan didn’t allow the people of God to fulfil their purpose. Man’s way is never better than God’s, and will never be completed.

I thought that I could overcome the pain of Fibromyalgia by pressing on in life. But God’s purpose was for me to get to the point where “I” couldn’t go on and had to depend on others. The same thing has happened in my life with this new revelation of order. There is a certain purpose in the order of God’s people. Preachers, Leaders, Teachers, Parishioners, Servants, everyone has a role. Roles are exclusive and appointed.

1 Chronicles 16:22 says “Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.”

We may not understand the process, but there is for certain, certain people in certain positions for certain purpose. Ours is not to ask why… it’s to continue on the journey in proper order and allowing God to bless the end result.

On a side note: Michal, David’s wife wasn’t happy with David’s methods of rejoicing. An attitude that caused her to be barren from that point forward.  A lesson on messing with God’s people. I don’t want to lose the fruit out of my life for complaining about the way God conducts His business with His people.

Posted in Uncategorized

Who Then is Willing?

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It’s Sunday! My favorite day of the week. I spent the bulk of my Saturday preparing for a Sunday two weeks from now. During our Easter Cantata I’ll be putting the finishing touches on 7 paintings as the choir sings; paintings that for me tell the Easter story. I hope I’m “writing” one that the congregation can understand, sometimes my warped way of thinking doesn’t connect the dots like everyone else. But what a privilege it is to have your hands used by the Lord, especially when you know that there are likely more skilled hands in the congregation of the Lord for such a work as this.

In 1st Chronicles 29:3-6, King David is getting ready to pass the holy baton to his son, Solomon for the building of the temple. But before he does he lays a charge to the congregation of the Lord about their responsibilities for the house of the Lord.

Moreover, because I have set my affection to the house of my God, I have of mine own proper good, of gold and silver, which I have given to the house of my God, over and above all that I have prepared for the holy house. Even three thousand talents of gold, of the gold of Ophir, and seven thousand talents of refined silver, to overlay the walls of the houses withal: The gold for things of gold, and the silver for things of silver, and for all manner of work to be made by the hands of artificers. And who then is willing to consecrate his service this day unto the Lord? Then the chief of the fathers and princes of the tribes of Israel and the captains of thousands and of hundreds, with the rulers of the king’s work, offered willingly,

The charge still stands:

Setting your affection

Sunday mornings don’t come easy for any of us; the last thing Satan is going to do is allow a child of God an easy ride to worship. He’ll use any and all methods of distraction to make sure that your heart and mind are in a thousand other directions and not on the things of God. Setting your affection is a lot like the setting of the foundation of the house of the Lord. It’s putting the idea of your service in concrete so that no matter what other things arise in life your heart is set on serving Christ.

Sacrificing your assets

David summed it up in verse 14 when he said “But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able to offer so willingly after this sort? for all things come of thee, and of thine own have we given thee.” The reality of the matter is you’re not sacrificing your assets, you’re returning the smallest of portion which God gave you to begin with, and what a privilege to be able! It’s also a mindset. Given the choice, most will choose to keep it for themselves.

Submitting your artistry

Everyone has talents! And David as leader searched those talents out and used them all in the building of the house of the Lord. Our church house may be built but the church is far from finished, else God would have called us home. I hope today you’ll discover a talent worthy of the Lord’s service either in you, or in someone you lead and when God asks “Who then is Willing?” your hand will be lifted high in praise and service for the Kingdom of God. “It’s me O Lord! Ready and Willing!!!”

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The Overcomer’s Club

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Let me premise this blog by stating that I’m not a psychologist, or expert in mental health. I did however stay at the Stonewall Jackson Resort this week, which may qualify me in some manner as much as some of those “experts” that I’ve heard speak. I understand depression from the victim’s point of view, being one who has struggled with it for years and since salvation in 1996 have not mastered, but managed my own through relying on God’s grace to pull me through. That sounds all pious and religious, but in truth just means that I quit trying to fix it on my own and began asking God to help me through it. Each time was different, sometimes were darker than others. It varied from a nightlight of hope to a dimly lit room, it was never utter darkness for me, because in Christ I truly did have light, even though it was sometime shrouded by the trouble of the day.

If you struggle with depression this blog will not fix you, its 710 word after all. How far can that take you? What I hope it does is to “turn up the light” a little in your life today. J

.B. Phillips, author of Your God is Too Small, dealt with depression all of this life. In one of his many letters he offered this comment to someone struggling with depression. “As far as you can, and God knows how difficult this is, try to relax in and upon Him. As far as my experience goes, to get to even a breath of God’s peace in the midst of pain is infinitely worth having.”

For me that “breath of God’s peace” was my nightlight in dark times. In my heart I knew that “God had this.”, my head however would sometimes join the liars club and berate me with thoughts of defeat and discouragement. That’s Satan at his finest isn’t it? If you’re a Christian he can’t get into your heart, because Christ dwells there. So in the very core of you there is always a light. But in your mind, where the world can seep in, Satan has free reign to beat his drum and loud and long he will until you’re spiraling into the direction of depression.

So how do you spiral out?

Again… I’m not an expert. This is what works for me. I place myself in the winner’s circle with those who God’s shown me battled depression.

  1. The woman of Samaria in John 4 who came to the well in the heat of the day to avoid the judgmental eyes of society and met the one true Judge, who didn’t condemn her but loved her out of the lifestyle she as in.
  2. Moses wanted to die in Exodus 32:32, asking God to blot his name out of the book because of what the children of Israel had done with the golden calf – yet, he was the greatest leader ever known.
  3. 3.      Elijah sat down under a juniper tree in I Kings 19:4 and told God “It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life.”  The same Elijah who had brought fire down from Heaven.
  4. 4.      King David, my hero in the faith in Psalm 6:6 said I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.
  5. 5.      The widow in I Kings 17:12 who had come to the end of her finances and was prepared to die a death of starvation with her child, when God sent an endless supply of provision.

The overcomers club! There were times that they had self-inflicted depression and other times it came from the outside, just like mine. But God brought them through! None of them were perfect, their sins rivaled the worst, and yet God’s mercy and grace is shown all over them. It is in those stories that I come to the “Why not me?” phase of healing. If God did it for them, why not me? They were just ordinary, messed up people, just like me.

I’m not an expert at much, but I may be nearing the benchmark of an expert in failures. But… God’s got me covered. Amen!