I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love. Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope
in thy word.
Psalm
119:113-114
The Struggle with
Vanity
By
human nature we are a selfish lot, are we not? I tuned into social media this
morning and the heartaches of other people overwhelmed my soul. I felt
helpless.
I
can’t rebuild a life that was lost in a fire.
I
can’t undo the bad decision of a young man that didn’t feel there was any other
way than death.
I
can’t control the fierceness of nature or the devastation it can leave in its
path.
I
can’t un-break a heart or protect people from destruction.
It’s life. And in this day and age it’s being lived out in a very, very public way that affects so many people with the stroke of a keyboard. Social media can be a blessing or a scourge. I have a love/hate relationship with it, as I’m sure most people do. But like it or not, despise it or not, it’s here to stay. But you and I need to be careful about the vanity of it all. If we are in the mindset of Christ… as we should be. We should shield ourselves from ourselves. Visit https://www.fanexplosion.de/produkt/instagram-likes-kaufen/ to promote your brand or any service to a greater reach on Instagram.
One
of my many, many faults is counting. Now I know it got David in serious trouble
in 2nd Samuel 24. So I try not to; but remember the struggle I spoke
of. It really is a struggle on social media. How many people likes my post… how
many people viewed my video… how many people liked a post, or loved a post. And
who were they? Oh. I’m vain. For me it’s validation as to whether or not I was
a success.
That
a load of lies from Satan. But I buy it like a good flea market find.
Our
lives will never be defined in eternity by how many people seen our posts. But
it will be defined by what that post did for the cause of the Kingdom.
The Shield of Victory
For
all my vain thoughts, and they are many; God put a heart of compassion within
me. It’s what drives me to share the hope of Jesus Christ that I find in His
word. It’s what creates images like the umbrella in my mind when I think of how
many times the Lord has shielded me from the sun and rain. The good times and
the bad times that would have had a negative result in my life.
It’s
not only the bad times in our lives that cause damage. The good in life can
bring more vanity, more self-reliance that can destroy the good things that God
wants for us.
How
many people do we know with great wealth and health that have no relationship
with God? Or how many do we know that have “seemingly” never struggled as we
have and are so ungrateful.
Some
of the worst things in my life, I am certain, have protected me from forgetting
where my hope lies.
I’m
so thankful that we have God’s word! It is as if I’m sitting here in my office
this morning with God, and I hear Him say… “That’s my girl. Keep writing. Keep
drawing. Keep serving. And by the way, stop counting.”
Gavest thou the goodly wings unto the peacocks? or wings and feathers
unto the ostrich?
Job 39:13 was one of the many questions the Lord
had for Job when it came to helping him to understand that regardless of what
the world thought, God’s creation, design and planning was His and His alone. He
didn’t need Job’s help in the beginning and He didn’t need it now.
As I read and thought about the magnificence of the peacock this morning and I surveyed my marker and colored pencil collection I was in awe once again at how very much thought God put into the earth and all that’s around us. And as I considered Job’s “friends” and the arrogance of the fourth and final man, Elihu; who in his youth thought he could “teach Job a thing or two,” it brought to mind the arrogance of today’s modern and liberal thinking lot who think they too can tell God’s people a thing or two.
I want to ask them. Where were you when God gave
the feathers to a peacock?
How can a person of any intelligence whatsoever
look at creation and not see God? How can you look at the fabric of men inside
and out and not see how God’s hand created them. An explosion? Give me a break.
How does an explosion create love and how does it speak to the soul the way the
Holy Spirit does.
The problem is, they don’t know God and they have
no desire to. Because it would take them out of control. Which is so funny,
because they’re not in control!
So this brief yet very deep and pondering thought
is what I’ll leave you and I both with today. We will no more understand what
God’s doing behind the scenes in our lives than we’ll understand how He put
those “goodly wings” on the peacock.
But we can be rest assured of one thing. It will
be beautiful. And the world will still be filled with idiots who think they
know more than God.
Pray for them. And enjoy the fact that you are
wiser.
A note I scribbled on a scrap piece of paper in my office
said “More of an attack on my heart than the actual heart attack, has been the
spiritual attack on me.” In recent months it’s been very, very real. The final
icing on that well decorated cake was a hacker tearing down my web site on
Tuesday. Years of labor disappeared into the oblivion of cyber space and I was
a mess. I don’t understand the mentality of people who live to do something
like that, but I understand their source of evil. Satan and his minions I’m
sure had a huge laugh at my expense.
I don’t have a web designer or personal tech support.
Everything I do is on my own through programs designed to make it easy, mainly
by paying for godaddy.com hosting. I know just enough to be dangerous to my health
when something like this happens. Three days, and a $120 poorer my site is back
up but I am drained emotionally and physically.
It’s not been just the website issues. My overall health has
been on the decline since the knee injury, another of those fiery darts meant
to bring me down. Okay, I’m done whining, now onto lifting you and I up
together!
Get me a Water Gun!
For the record, Satan only has the control that God allows
him to have. An idiot tearing my website down did not catch God off guard.
Satan never has one over on God. It’s why God has me in the book of Job right
now. If He can bring Job through the heartache he went through, He as me
covered too. I have no doubt.
There
is Wisdom in the Water
I love Job’s response to his friends in Job 12:15
Behold, he withholdeth the waters, and they dry up: also he sendeth
them out, and they overturn the earth. With him is strength and wisdom: the
deceived and the deceiver are his.
Water is one of those biblical words that has great
spiritual meaning and depth. Just in saying that God is the Water of the Word
is like drinking a cool glass of water on a hot day. It soothes the soul, just
like it does the body. How wonderful to understand that it is God who control
such an amazing substance. The substance that will put out the fire of Hell
that try to heat up the life of a child of God.
Satan will never see us in Hell, but he can try to make our
lives Hell here on earth. He and his minions can tear down websites, families
and even bodies, but they cannot have the Spirit of man. God control them all. Glory
to God, I just wrote myself happy again! I love when that happens. I hope you
read yourself happy too!
The Water Gun is loaded. And the fire is about to go out!
There
is Life in the Water
Job 26:5-7
Dead things are formed from under the waters, and the inhabitants
thereof. Hell is naked before him, and destruction hath no covering. He
stretcheth out the north over the empty place, and hangeth the earth upon
nothing.
Verse number 7 is one of my all-time favorite verses. But
the words of Job leading into it cause me to ponder greatly. And then from the
depths of my soul I heard this response.
“Water creates life, and fire causes death. God is water,
Satan is fire. Nothing is concealed from God, even those who believe their
destruction is hidden in the world wide web. God knows them. Personally. And
they should fear. If he can hang this ball of dirt in the midst of space and
keep it there, one web hacker is nothing.”
My knee pain is not too hard for God to fix or to work
through it. My heart is fixable. Both the physical and the spiritual. God is in
charge.
There
is No Water without God
Job 38:34
Canst thou lift up thy voice to the clouds, that abundance of waters
may cover thee?
God’s response to Job was a reminder to us all that we
better understand Who it is that’s in charge of every aspect of our life. The
good, the bad and the ugly is under God’s thumb.
I found a warped humor in verse 3 of Chapter 38, because I
think I too have had this conversation with God.
Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer
thou me.
It almost felt like I heard God say, “Put on your big girl
pants and answer me Shari, who did you think was in control?
In my ignorance I gave credence to the destructor of my
website and forgot who had destroyed this body by not taking care of the
temple. We have the power of destruction, but through God we can have the power
of life. But only through Him.
We can pray for rain, but the final decision is His.
God asks Job in chapter 41, verse 1:
Canst thou draw out leviathan with an hook? Or his tongue with a cord
which thou lettest down?
Leviathan was a sea creature, whale and even Satan is
referred to it in the scriptures. Something larger than life. We cannot control
it on our own. It would literally be like fishing for a whale with a Walmart
rod. How long would that last before we too were destroyed by the beast?
Satan and his minions are not to be taken lightly. They certainly have destruction powers. But not when God intervenes. The question is have we given God full control to hand the situation before us. Or are we still trying to catch a whale with a $2.00 hook? or shoot Satan with a water gun.
Today is a gloomy Gus kind of day outside my window. Spring rains are in the day and I noted in my mind that there is a difference between a spring rain and a winter rain. While obviously the temperature difference is much easier on my arthritic bones, but the spring rain hydrates the land and suddenly overnight the trees are out and the flowers are blooming. I need my spirit to fall in line, it’s still in the winter mode.
I have projects that need done and a house that
needs cleaning and repairs and all I want to do is set and space out which is
not healthy for my mind set in so many ways! And it’s surely not healthy for
the things that need done. So this morning I pushed past it and turned to
another book in my reading through the Bible, the book of Zechariah.
One of the minor prophets who always have a
major word.
Zechariah 4:6-10
6 Then he
answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the Lord unto Zerubbabel,
saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.
His Spirit
Not mine
Trying to
do things in my own always leads to trouble, but I do it none the less. While I
need to focus on my personal ministry work I have the collective work of the
church on my heart as well. Which Zechariah spoke directly to this morning.
Chapter 4
begins speaking of a candlestick which represents the church. We are supposed
to be a light to the world, but we seem more to be a flashlight under the bed
looking for our lost socks. Wow… where did that analogy come from?
But there
it is and its how I feel. There’s always something we’re looking to do and
finish, like the other sock that never gets found. And rather than making
progress, we’re looking for the lost sock while the laundry is stacking up and
there’s plenty of other stuff to do, but the sock is important.
His
Mountain, Not Mine
7 Who art thou, O great
mountain? before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain: and he shall bring forth
the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, Grace, grace unto it.
Truthfully right now I don’t
have a mountain of laundry, I have only a couple of loads, but what I have is a
mountain of mayhem going through my brain. Bills that need paid, things that
need done, people that need visited,
blogs that need written, lessons that need prepared, songs that need
sung… each one of them seems to be a missing sock. I just can’t get it
together. I need God to flatten this mess out.
Grace, grace unto it!!!
Please Jesus.
His Mercy, My Message
Have you ever been told, or
told your children (probably both) “I’m going to straighten you out!”
Well, that’s what I feel
like God needs to do to me. I’m out of line.
8 Moreover the word of the Lord came unto me, saying,
9 The hands of Zerubbabel have
laid the foundation of this house; his hands shall also finish it; and thou
shalt know that the Lord of hosts hath sent me
unto you.
10 For who hath despised the
day of small things? for they shall rejoice, and shall see the plummet in the
hand of Zerubbabel with those seven; they are the eyes of the Lord, which run to and fro
through the whole earth.
The
plummet was used to make sure everything was in line in the building of the
house of God. Now, how that plays into the missing sock, I’m not sure. Other
than God is in the details of house work. Be it, the House of God, or the house
of Shari. God’s aware of everything that happens to and fro through the whole
earth. Even the times that I sit in frustration and feel that the mountains are
just too big to move, And God sends a guy like Zechariah to say that no matter
the mountain, God’s work will be done in me. And you!
We
just need to stay faithful
God
knows where’s that sock is. And He knows every missing piece of our work in His
name. Keep looking… we’ll find it.
Boy does it! I’ve been
thinking a lot about my fleshly ways. You know… trying to justify it. One such
occasion is my frequent trips to our little town of Grantsville, West Virginia
for which I always seem to be in a hurry. And somebody else doesn’t. On multiple
occasions over the past few weeks I’ve been behind a Sunday driver in the
middle of the week. Our speed limit is 55 mph. Although people unfamiliar with
West Virginia roads would say that is likely too fast! And obviously some of
our locals who are content at driving 40 mph. And I truthfully have a freeway
brain. I would like to go 70 mph. I have places to be!
Let’s get real.
Nowhere that couldn’t wait a few minutes. But the problem with my freeway brain
is; our West Virginia roads have very few passing zones. So if you’re behind a
Sunday Driver on a Friday. It really does feel like it may be Sunday before you
get to town, which sometimes causes my flesh to kick into a higher gear. One
such occasion happened last week.
I had followed
this guy until my head was about to explode. At least a couple of miles. But
the passing zone was coming up and I was praying, (I’m godly you know?) Lord
please let the zone be clear. As I come around the turn I think it’s okay, until
I see a mail lady stopped half in the passing lane and half out, delivering
mail. She’s in the middle of the zone! so now I have to wait again.
I wait and as soon
as I’m past her I dart out into the passing lane and low and behold another
truck is coming around the turn in my lane. So I gun it! And my little Kia Soul
almost sounds like it’s rubber band is going to break but it’s got the power
when I need it. Praise God! And then I think about the lettering on the back of
my car.
And I’m not quite
so impressed with my car or myself anymore. I wonder if the guy I just gunned it
passed seen my decals and thought… such a godly woman. Umm. Probably not.
So yesterday I had
another rising of the flesh but I managed to keep this one internal. I was
invited to a new place to sing and I met some people who didn’t know me from Adam.
Certainly they didn’t know I was the Jesus Chick. Two minutes into meeting
them, they’re trash talking everyone around them and I’m nauseous. “Why did I
come here?” I thought. And then I remembered, because my idea of saying no is “no,
I wouldn’t mind.” And then I remembered why I do what I do. So people can see
Jesus. And so I did just that… I changed the conversation. Woohoo! This was a
win. Well partly… they still had the occasion to trash talk.
Incident number
three, I was home alone scrolling social media. Which can so easily get me in
trouble. After about the fiftieth social media jab by liberals about everything
from abortion to the President my head was about to explode again. It’s very
well my biggest pet peeve. I’m so tired of this liberal agenda and the
inability to defend our rights as a nation and more importantly the agenda of
Almighty God without being attacked. So I say nothing. I just don’t want the
negativity on my social media pages.
I delete who I
must (anyone who speaks filth) and I scroll past who I can (those who I hope
will see my post and want Jesus.)
So this morning
when I read 2 Peter 2:9-10. I praised God that He delivers people like me. And
that He forgives people like me.
Peter spoke of Lot
a few verses before when he said, “And
delivered Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked. (For that righteous man dwelling among them,
in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful
deeds;” ~verses 7-8
Oh be careful
little eyes what you see… you probably know the song.
The word of God
was a reminder for me that I need to sing that song to myself. I need to watch
what I do for certain. I need to shut some people out… yes indeed! And I need
to be grateful that God will deliver my soul some day from this wicked, wicked
world. And then the judgement.
Is there not an appointed
time to man upon earth? Are not his days also like the days of an hireling? As a
servant earnestly desireth the shadow, and as an hireling looketh for the
reward of his work.
Job
7:1-2
Not
a soul on earth has likely ever felt the frustration of ministry work like Job.
Here he was, a man who the scripture described as “Perfect and upright and one
that feared God,” ~ Job 1:1, and because of that he was targeted by Satan and
tested by God. There is a vast difference between Job and I. Yet it doesn’t
stop the ministry frustrations at times and the feeling that my eternal
difference making is sparse. The only difference, I’m not worthy of the right
to complain. Still
doesn’t stop me from doing it though.
This
morning Job 7:1-2 gave me the kick in the pants that I needed.
The Appointed Time
I
have not felt well lately. Mainly because I’m not taking care of myself. My
friend Gloria has told me that she is having a difficult time raising me. This
damaged knee of mine has me feeling like I’m a rebellious teen ager who has
just been told they’re grounded. I’m sneaking out at every turn, but
unfortunately I’m closer to being a senior citizen than a senior in high
school, and sneaking out means that I’m walking and working more than I should around
the house. That’s sad isn’t it?
But my ministry work suffers because my psyche suffers. If I sit, I feel worthless. Imagine how Job felt. It literally makes me nauseous to think what that man went through. It’s why his words carries weight. He earned that right.
Job
knew that there was an appointed time to die, and that unfortunately this wasn’t
it for him. He was wishing for death.
I
am wishing for life! If there is an appointed time to die (and there is) there
is also an appointed time to live; and by live I mean serve. Until we draw our
last breath there is work to be done. This is our appointed time. What are we
going to do with it?
If
you’re not dead, God’s not done!
The Appointed Work
Job’s
work for that time in his life was to be a witness. He didn’t realize. He didn’t
know we’d be writing, talking and preaching about him for thousands of years
later. And we don’t know what our tough times will mean either on the other
side of eternity.
I
think God has some reading for us to do when we get to Heaven.
Psalm
56:8 says “Thou tellest my wanderings:
put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?”
When
we’re serving, they’re talking about us in Heaven. Our tears are in a bottle
and there is a book of our story! I don’t
want my book covered in dust because it’s never written in. (not that they’ll
be dust in heaven.” Maybe angel glitter. But I want my book to be a best seller!
The Appointed Reward
Revelation
22:12
And, behold, I come quickly;
and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.
We
forget that God’s idea of quickly and ours is two separate notions. But “quickly”
just might mean before this day is through, and the opportunity to collect
those rewards are limited.
My
rewards are those I love. I have a house full of kids today, I’m believing that
they’re going to make my life easier. Yeah…. I didn’t believe that any more
than you do. But, it’s an opportunity for them to see Noni serving God in hopes
that they too will have that desire. And that will be reward enough!
Below is the video link as well as my notes for the “Not Another Manic Monday” Video Blog published October 8, 2018. Tune in live every Monday at 10 a.m. on Facebook as I share what the Lord has laid on my heart to encourage us for the coming week.
VIDEO NOTES:
To begin with, it’s hard to begin a conversation with
Someone we’re not familiar with or perhaps may not even know.
Someone we’re angry with (if we’re honest)
Someone we’re afraid of, or
Someone we don’t understand.
It’s sometimes helpful if we have a conversation starter.
Prayer needs are obvious conversation starters. I used to think I was prayer warrior until I realized all my prayers started with “Lord help me.”
Who wants a friend who only comes around when they need something? Don’t get me wrong, God wants to hear everything we need. But He’d like to have some talk time with us just for the sake of getting to know Him better. Not hearing just hearing about our problems.
1 Timothy 2:5 says “For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.
Conversation Starter
So if by way of a conversation starter you heard God ask “Why don’t we talk more often?” How would you answer?
Which one of the excuses would you have, or perhaps another one. But be honest with yourself and ask, what causes me not to have a closer relationship with Jesus Christ? Do you fear Him?
The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.”
So let’s break that verse down.
If God hasn’t give us the spirit of fear, who has. Easy question to answer. Satan loves it when you won’t talk to God. Because he knows without a good relationship with Jesus, God can’t work in your life to the fullest extent. So he whispers lies in our ears to keep us apart and a way from a three fold promise.
The Power of God. The Love of God and the Strength of having a sound mind. Power to make it through any problem we’re facing. Love, not condemnation which Satan wants you to have, and a sound mind, meaning that you worry and stress less. Is that not something we all desire?!
So take the time to have that conversation with God today. What’s coming between you and Him?
Tell it to the Scapegoat
Anything that prevents you from having a conversation with God is a sin. Even if you don’t view it as a sin, it is because it’s keep you apart from your Creator.
In the book of Leviticus, an Old Testament ritual was that the priest on the Day of Atonement would take two goats before the people at the temple. The first he would kill which symbolized the blood sacrifice that Jesus would make in the future. The second goat he would release into the wilderness, symbolizing that the sins of the people were carried away.
I love the scripture which says “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.”
Everything that causes you apprehension with God, is gone. You can visualize it on the scapegoat, running into the wilderness never to return.
What an awesome way to visualize our sins! Running away from us.
The last point for today is to have a
Tell it to Jesus
It’s a conversation that I had last night in the preparation of this morning’s video blog. I needed somethings to go away. I had to get very honest.
I’ll share those with you, because I need to get them out in the open and perhaps your struggle is similar.
I feel every burden of my family on my shoulders. Everyone’s. And I most always think that it’s my fault.
I don’t ever feel that I measure up before God or man and that I’ve failed everyone who loves me.
I feel that my value is tied to my pay. Which for someone in the ministry, (not a paid ministry) that makes my value “0”.
That may or may not be your issue. But something probably is that keeps you and God from having in depth conversations.
I hope that today you’ll take the time to talk to Jesus. Tell Him the truth about why you and He don’t talk as much as you should. And let’s start this Monday on the right foot, getting closer to our Lord.
Another milestone in the zipper club (heart bypass) journal was the completion of my first week of cardiac rehab. Also another reality check on the lack of care for myself over the last several years of life. Following my decision to stop smoking on May 26th, 1997 (with the prompting of the Holy Spirit after a year of salvation) I traded my addiction to tobacco for an addiction to all things tasty. Gradually I blossomed into the well-rounded person I am today both spiritually and figuratively.
The criticism and judgement of sometimes well-meaning people (sometimes not) served me well in the department of discouragement and depression. The added pressure added extra weight. However, before anyone thinks I blame others for my blessed figure status, the answer is no. I’m the one who lost her will power. And so today as I read Ezekiel 18, I remembered my week at cardiac rehab. The struggles that I had as I pushed through each piece of equipment and so did not enjoy it. As I tried to clean up the mess I had created over the past 21 years.
Ezekiel 8:31
“Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed and make you a new heart and a new spirit: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”
I believe Israel had gotten on God’s last nerve. They’d sinned, worshiped idols and used their children as sacrifices. What a mess they’d gotten themselves into because they’d gotten their eyes off the Lord and put them onto the things around them. I won’t throw any stones in that department either.
But the end result of a life without God, is always death. And no matter what I try to do in life without God as the central focus, it will surely die, because I am His, and He is mine and He expects to be a part of my life.
So how do I make sure that’s the case when living everyday life and making decisions that can change my future? And how many times have I gotten on God’s last nerve by not listening to Him.
The Word tells me.
CAST IT
Cast away from you, all your transgressions.
Easier said than done, right? Well, yes and no. We know that nothing is impossible for God! But we must first allow Him to have it. For me and my transgressions… there were many. The overeating and desire for food replaced an addition that had begun when I was a child. I smoked my first cigarette at 13 years of age. I had been addicted a very, very long time. But when God got involved the desire for that substance was replaced with a desire to be better for Him. But the cigarettes had also come with a stigma of non-acceptance by the world, both saved and unsaved people alike. So it wasn’t hard to not desire it. But everyone loved food! It was acceptable.
But the weight gain was not.
Add to that the fact that God had called me into ministry work and I was now standing before people every week, I became very weak emotionally.
I allowed the pressure of that judgment, whether real or not to get the best of me and I ate all the more because it made me feel better.
So what did I need to cast off?
Addiction. Self-Condemnation. Irresponsibility.
If Jesus had cast my sins as far as the east is from the west, I needed to cast my transgression to Him so He could take care of them. Because when I threw them down, they never failed to land out of arms reach and I would pick them up again
Psalm 103:12
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
CREATE IT
…and make you a new heart and a new spirit:
So how do I do that?
I have to change somethings about my life. Beginning with my mindset. Your brain tells your heart when to beat.
In the course of the day, your heart will beat somewhere around 100,000 times and over a calendar year might beat up to 35 million times. Over the course of a lifetime then, your brain and your heart have to work together to engineer 3 billion heartbeats.
However there’s something in the heart called automaticity.
Meaning that the heart, even if it’s disconnected from the brain, will continue to beat at a set rate.
For me that shows that there’s a thought controlled side of the heart and a God controlled side of the heart. Praise God! He knows when to kick His side in.
But when it comes to decision making He leaves that to me for the most part. So I need to create within myself a new heart and spirit. Basically new desires and passions that align with God.
I can only do that if I focus on godly things casting those things that are unhealthy to Christ so that He can help me get them out of my life.
COMMIT IT
…for why will ye die,
Commitment was something that Israel didn’t have. They’d make and break promises as fast as the ink would dry on the paper.
I’m not any different. I yo yo diet, and I yo yo commit to the promises that I make God that “I’ll do better.”
We take commitment too lightly. Forgetting that God doesn’t take it lightly. Over time, God allowed many of His chosen people to be killed because they couldn’t keep their commitment to live for Him.
When I quit smoking, I partially did so because I believed God was going to allow me to die a dreadful death because of the effect of smoking. He warned me to quit… and so I did. Honey Lake Clinic is a drug rehab and recovery facility that approaches the problem of addiction from a spiritual point of view.
The transgression of poor health was not so easy for me to commit to overcome. I allowed emotions and lack of self-respect to play the major role in controlling my diet. Scroll forward to May of 2018, three heart attacks, open heart surgery and now cardia rehab and I am beginning to think I should have listened sooner.
Duh. I’m a Slow learner. Israel and I have a lot in common. Most of all, and Hallelujah, we have God’s grace in common.
But eventually God’s patience runs thin and we get on God’s last nerve. Before that happens, it would be much better to give those transgressions to Jesus. Everyone has them, and their personal to them.
There’s a 3 step plan for it. Cast. Create. Commit.
God’s final verse in chapter 18 was For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord God: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye.
There is life in Christ! And a much better, more rewarding life. Live it! And live it well.
It’s a time of confession. If you notice an absence of me from social media, blogging or life in general, it can often be attributed to a stronghold in my life. Such has been the case for the past few weeks. Anytime I am about to embark on a speaking or singing engagement I can expect an attack from somewhere. Sometimes I’m better equipped to handle it, and sometimes I’m ill equipped to handle it. When I had my recent surgery, I was just flat out ill. But once the recuperating time was over (or at least what time I had allotted myself) I thought I’d be out of the woods and away from the attack of my emotional and psychological condition. Yes, I am that foolish mortal. I was relatively sure that I had survived the worst part of it, the actual surgery. And physically that was the worst, but not psychologically. There was still plenty of time for Satan to get inside my head.
I felt alone, although I was daily surrounded by people who loved me. I felt as though my ministry time was coming to an end. Although my heart had been fixed it was still broken spiritually. I told no one of this state of mind because I am after all “the Jesus Chick.” I bear His name because He bore mine on the cross. I can’t allow anyone to see me as a failure. Though I surely am on so many levels, beginning with that manner of thinking. But it’s who I’ve always been and the theory of life I adhere to. The “I’m Fine Theory.” Unlike my biblical hero King David who wore and bore his heart on his sleeve so that all who read his God inspired words would know we are not alone.
Psalm 142
Confession is good for the Soul
1I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lorddid I make my supplication,
David wasn’t holding anything back. At the time he wrote Psalm 142 he had been forced by Saul into hiding in a cave with people he had no faith in at all. If you read 1 Samuel 22 you’ll discover he was surrounded by family who had never had any faith in him and some very needy men he described as in destress, debt and discontent. David had to wonder if they weren’t there just for what they could get from him as a known leader and successful warrior.
I hesitate to confess the thoughts that have run through my mind over the past two months. But they were akin to many of David’s. And not for the same reasons. I’ve always had a great support system in my life, but I’ve also had some very needy people in my life, for which I honestly didn’t mind helping but they were not of the lot that would have been there if I needed them. So following the heart attack I had to re-examine some things in my life. And it began by considering what was holding me back from my service to God.
Complaining is okay with the Savior
2 I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. 3 When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me. 4 I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.
I always feel guilty when I complain, whether it’s to God or my sounding board Gloria, who is my number one fan and closest friend. But Gloria encourages me to share with her the problems of life because I know that that conversation will not go any further. But even still it takes me a long time to get to that point and it’s usually when I’m on the verge of blowing up also known as “overwhelmed.” God doesn’t want us to get to the point of being overwhelmed. He already knows we have a complaint. Perhaps if we’d take it to Him sooner, it could get resolved sooner. He is after al the best friend of all.
Who hasn’t felt that way on more than one occasion and as times gets worse, those occasions are more frequent. When you feel that no one could possibly understand what you’re going through or why you feel consumed by it and tied down to the point of being unable to move to the left or right! That has been the condition of my heart for weeks.
But David knew, even in the midst of that struggle that God knew his path. What comfort in those words that God knows the path I’ve taken and the path I’m headed to, and He has me covered in both directions.
Confidence is found in Salvation
5 I cried unto thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living. 6 Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutors; for they are stronger than I. 7 Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.
It has not only been emotional challenges but physical and ministry work related as well that has taken a toll on me. I did cry to the Lord and each time He brought me through with a victorious end. God has dealt bountifully with me as He did David.
When David was crying in that cave, he had no idea that that rag tag bunch of men, who he no doubt feared were there for what they could get, not give; those same men would support him in battle all the way to the throne! Glory to God!!! And those same struggles I have faced have caused me to count the blessings of those around me who support me and encourage me to be “The Jesus Chick.” That confidence can only be found as a child of God. The world will let you down, but God and His people, are there for the long haul…
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In general, I stay more frustrated with myself than with others among the church. But I must confess that I too can grow weary of people. For some strange reason the Mac Davis song, “Oh Lord it’s hard to be Humble,” is now playing in my mind. If you know the song, you remember the next line “when you’re perfect in every way.” Now, in the words of the Apostle Paul, “I beseech you,” meaning I beg of you, to understand I’m as far from perfect as the pendulum swings! But human nature being what it is causes my mind to focus on the errored way of others, and when I do I am brought to a message like this in 2 Corinthians 10.
It comforts me to know that even the great Paul had to talk his way through the frustrations of dealing with stupid people.
2 Corinthian ds 10:1-2
Now I Paul myself beseech you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ, who in presence am base among you, but being absent am bold toward you: But I beseech you, that I may not be bold when I am present with that confidence, wherewith I think to be bold against some, which think of us as if we walked according to the flesh.
Remember Humility
Paul said that he was base (the lowest) among us. How could that be? A man who was beaten and imprisoned for preaching the gospel and died a martyr for the faith. How is it that he would say that he is less than anyone else? Because he remembered humility. It’s a character trait of those who are most used by God.
Paul’s past, pre,-salvation was spent having Christians murdered for the same faith that he now defended. That no doubt weighed heavy on his heart. And though it was under the blood of Christ, it would not have prevented Satan from using it as a tool of discouragement in Paul’s ministry. Satan doesn’t have any new tricks, he doesn’t need them. He always has plenty of ammunition in the line of guilt in my life even after salvation. I can either allow him to tear me apart, or I can face the world in humility as the Apostle Paul did, knowing that I am a sinner saved by grace. It’s in that humility that I’ll learn to extend grace and mercy to those who frustrate me.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Avoid High-mindedness
Paul said to cast down every “high” thing that puts itself above God. I think of that as those self-righteous moments of mankind when we look upon the faults of others and forget our own. Oh, the saints of God love calling out sin, so long as nobody opens their closet doors.
It is so easy for me to look at someone else’s life and assume that they should have known better, or that no excuse was worthy of the transgression they committed, but justify my own blunders. Paul lay a reminder before us that that kind of high-thinking is detrimental to the children of God. It makes someone feel less and someone feel more and that is not the way Christ did it. Christ never justified sin, nor did He execute the sinner.
2 Corinthians 10:6-8
And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. Do ye look on things after the outward appearance? if any man trust to himself that he is Christ’s, let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christ’s, even so are we Christ’s. For though I should boast somewhat more of our authority, which the Lord hath given us for edification, and not for your destruction, I should not be ashamed:
Understand it’s a Matter of the Heart
When we’ve been hurt, or we’re in disagreement with someone else, it would do us well if we’d consider the heart of the matter. While my weakness may not be yours or vice versa, we cannot say for certain that we understand every underlying condition that created our frustration. I only have to recall an issue that I had with a person who seemed arrogant and prideful. My frustration with them grew to the point that I’d cringe when I’d hear their voice in the distance. They later became one of my best friends and what I discovered was that the arrogance and pride was a shield that they placed before them so that people couldn’t see the insecurity and lack of self-confidence that they garnered inside. Once I understood that about them, my frustration quickly turned to compassion and the realization that everything wasn’t always what it seemed.
Paul could have boasted in his authority with God and his wisdom of men. He was right. But he chose rather to look on others with compassion and allow the love of Christ to be exhibited rather than the pride of man.
I’ve learned that most people eventually realize the error of their ways, or I recognize mine. And when they don’t I need to leave them with Christ and move on to matters I can control.
Placing it in Christ’s hands in indeed the cure of the frustrated believer.
