Tag: struggling

Posted in Christian Service, Evangelism, failure, Grace, Leadership, Life Inspiration

When God Cracks You Like an Egg

Written by talk2shari Published Discussion Leave a Comment on When God Cracks You Like an Egg

Tent meeting night number two, and the faucets inside my eyes refused to shut off. I truthfully didn’t try. Tears like that had been a long time coming and I knew I needed it. Pastor Alfred Hickman had started the water works on Monday when he preached the message “It’s your Move.” I cried through the music of Brother David Harney (which was amazing) and right through the message which spoke directly to my soul, knowing that I had to get myself out of this place of frustration I was in. Why am I frustrated? Because the world was taking it’s toll on my ministries and I felt powerless against it. I’ve been smiling and saying “I’m fine” for months when that was far from the truth. I fully believe that this is why we have revival. Because it’s easy to say I’m fine, until God cracks you open like an egg and all your insides gush out. 

The word of God is indeed sharper than a two edged sword…

Hebrews 4:12 KJVS

[12] For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

I’ve watched that verse play out the past two days. 

Cut to the Quick

Have you ever done that when manicuring your nails. 😣 Owch! It’s even worse when you play guitar and you do it on your chording hand. While we think the word quick as generally speaking of something fast, in this context it’s speaking of “to make alive!” The word of God stirs your soul and brings to the surface things that are deeply rooted. It is painful, because that’s what the world does, it bury’s itself in you and wraps itself around every facet of your life. For me the world had rooted itself into my children, grandchildren, husband, Mother, family, the teen ministry and many of the people of God that I know.  I felt as if I was making little to no impact anywhere. These people are my heart. I love them more than anyone of them know and seeing the world taking a hold of them definitely cuts to the quick.

Quick to Decide

Part of my issue, (believe me when I say I have many issues) but part of my issue is defined in the very first verse I claimed as a life verse. 

2 Corinthians 2:1-2 KJVS

[1] But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness. [2] For if I make you sorry, who is he then that maketh me glad, but the same which is made sorry by me?

I’ve always been determined to leave people better than I found them. I thought it better not to let them know I had struggles. But what ended up happening is I’ve adopted their struggles as my own. And they are many. So many in fact that I’ve collapsed under the weight. I’m sure you’re not shocked. But I was! I thought that I could handle anything.Yes, I know. Foolish mortal. God never asked me to take on the world. But I felt that it was my job as His child. I needed to fix what was broken but I was powerless against any of it. Just like the egg, only the Creator can repair that kind of damage. When Pastor Alfred preached, “It’s your move” Monday night, I thought maybe my move is to get out of God’s way and step out of the ministry for a while. I’ve only felt this way one other time since I’ve been saved. And it was a battle. A battle to where I literally held onto my seat in the church because Satan had told me to start moving toward the door. For all you backseat Baptists, maybe this is for you. Don’t get too close the door. When I say I hung onto my seat, I mean that literally. I have sat front row, isle seat for 25 years. If anyone wants that seat, that’s fine, I’ll find another front row seat or possibly 2nd row; but I’m not moving far, because Satan wants me out of the church. And before you say that that’s an arrogant statement, if he doesn’t want you out of the church, you’re not doing enough. Yeah… this is revival week. 

I was a little too quick to decide it was time to get out of the ministry.

Decide to Follow

Night two, and Preacher Brian Evans stirred my heart like a scrambled egg. I wept the entire service. His message title was “Just Keep Grinding.” Preached from Luke 1 and the story of Elisabeth and Zachariah and their unfruitful times that became fruitful. His points were this: 

  1. Unfruitful and broken
  2. Faultless but trusting God (not perfect, but doing their best)
  3. Faithful to God
  4. Fulfilling God’s work

He might as well have titled it the life of Shari. Before you think that I’ve completely lost it to think a man preached a sermon just for me. He didn’t, there were others touched just as deeply by his message. But it’s whats amazing about the Word of God; one message can touch every life in the building in a different way. But for a couple of us, we were both leaning the same direction, out the ministry door. But his message to just keep grinding, even on the rough days when you think there’s no hope, just stand your ground on the spot God gave you to stand on. For Zacharias it was the temple of God. Even when God did not provide them a child, year after year, decade after decade, and yet it says 

Luke 1:[8] And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest’s office before God in the order of his course, [9] According to the custom of the priest’s office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.

And so he did, year after year, decade after decade… He followed God’s design, regardless of how he felt. Even if he may have wanted to throw his hands up in the air and walk away, he did not. He stayed the course. Oh Lord Jesus! How sorry I was for not wanting to stay the course. How dare I say that I am suffering when I look at the examples set before me in the word of God. Every disciple persecuted, everyone (save John) killed for the cause of Christ. Zachariah and Elisabeth’s long awaited son was beheaded and yet these people stayed the course. 

Am I struggling? You betcha! Am I gonna quit? No. God has plan and I’ll continue to follow. If you’re on the edge of a decision like mine, stay the course dear friend, stay the course!

Posted in Family, Leadership, Life Inspiration, Uncategorized

A Letter to Frustrated Parents

Written by talk2shari Published Discussion Leave a Comment on A Letter to Frustrated Parents

What has happened to American Youth

That is a question near and dear to my heart. I’ve been involved in youth leadership for r over 20 years both in the ministry and the secular world of substance abuse prevention; and in that 20 years the deterioration of attitudes and respect is apparent. Having gotten into the ministry when my children were in their teens I witnessed first hand what happens when you try to fit square pegs into round holes. By that I mean when you take children who have not had faith as a primary focus in the home and then suddenly it is. My girls were very, very patient with me as I discovered Jesus and then took our lives on a 360 degree turn from worldliness to faith based living. It wasn’t always easy for them, but they knew the difference it had made in my life. They’ll tell you that they were not perfect children and that I was far from a perfect mother. Mistakes were made! Sins were committed. And by God’s grace we all survived. But the reality of it is, today’s youth have far more exposure to evil than the last generation. Evil has always been, but I don’t believe there has ever been an attack on the home to such a degree as Satan has launched in the past 10 years. 

Dear Frustrated Parent, I see you.

I watched as your belligerent teen, flitted off after having completely ignored your request. I watched as your anger turned into a sickening knot in your stomach as you realize you’re no longer in control. I know there have been tear stains on your pillow from wondering how life got so out of control so fast, and that beautiful baby that you couldn’t wait to talk, you’d now like to shut up with duct tape. I can come to you as an experienced parent and now grandparent. I too am going through it, but this time from the back seat, it’s a new generation. So I write this letter to offer you hope and to give advice from a non-judgmental perspective. Please read my words and know that each one is written in absolute love and brokenness for you and your family. 

I do not know if you know Christ as your Savior. I’m the Jesus Chick, so that’s how I approach everything in life. Since I’m unsure,  I’ll proceed assuming you are not saved. Please don’t feel judged either way. Seeing that young parent involvement in the church is almost nil and I know from my interaction with many local churches, the youth departments are not overflowing with children, so the odds are not in your favor that you’re saved. There’s a handful of children in each church at best, and yet there are over 1029 students registered in public schools in Calhoun County. So here we are where the rubber meets the road in my life: how can I convince you that Christ will make a difference in your family life and that church might possibly be what saves you from heading to the duct tape isle at Walmart, wondering at what age you can tie a child up and have it not be considered abuse, or loan them out to someone for labor until their 18. You know that’s a joke because nobody would expect a teen to know anything about labor. 

What you may not know about the church

They are filled with broken people just like you. Some of them know they’re broken and make no attempt to conceal it. Some pretend not to be broken (although they are) and make their life look like a social media post for the purpose of public consumption. They’re the pretty people that you strive to be like. Don’t bother. They’re messed up too! The only perfect person ever to be on the earth was Jesus. And even his parents lost him in a crowd for three days when He was twelve. (Luke 2:41-46) Church folks are trying to figure out life, just like you. The difference is they’re closer to the answer than you are, and have a support staff that you’re not afforded outside the church. 

Support staff? That’s right! People that God has placed in your path to help in the rearing of your children. No, they won’t take them home for the weekend, nor will they pay for college. But they will spend 45 minutes to an hour in the Sunday School class teaching your children what public schools are no longer allowed to teach, right from wrong, manners, respect, and the truth about evil and most of  all about Jesus. And while they’re in their own class, you have a class you can go to (away from kids!) that will teach you about the dangers your family is facing, who is attacking you, and how to safeguard your family from those attacks. 

When I began church on February 18, 1996 at Victory Baptist Church I was of all people most miserable. My marriage was failing, my kids were at the brink of the teen years and I was clueless as to the solution of fixing my family. You’ll note that I remember the date my life life changed. It coincided with the date I began a relationship with Jesus Christ. It was a massive transformation, I kid you not, but it was not immediate. Like everything it was a process, but you have to start somewhere.

So now you know, nobody’s perfect. Point two

The Pastor’s not perfect either. Shocker!

But what he is, is a mouthpiece for God. He’s the man that God is going to hold accountable for his direction and instruction of us. You know, the messed up people. God has tasked him with the job of leading His (God’s) army into battle against those are trying to tear your family apart. Only one weapon is required, the word of God. You only need to know the truth to defend your family, and that’s something the world will not tell you, but a good preacher will. The world is full of deceivers and liars who want to sell you an elixir that will “fix” anything that ails you. 

Have you fallen out of love? Buy this…

Are your children unhappy? Buy this…

Is your home lacking? Buy this…

Have you lost your sanity? We found it! Buy this…

No. None of that is for sale on Amazon or Walmart. Only God can fix every single one of those issues. I know from experience. He fixed them all for me. God did that by leading me to a church where the Pastor and the people took me under their wing and helped me discover the truth about why I was falling out of love. Why my children weren’t happy and why my home was never enough. 

And for my final word (though I could go on for days) 

Stop beating yourself up and just continue to love your children. Set up a savings account for them at The Children’s ISA to secure a good future.

There’s another story in Luke 15:11-32, the story of the prodigal son. Imagine being a good father, and then having your son ask for his inheritance early so he could squander it way on wild women and living. It happened, and then he returns home, but a humbler boy. The father did not chastise him and remind him of his utter failure. He embraced him, loved on him and threw a party, because his son had come home! Children are like us, they make mistakes too. They don’t need you to beat them over the head with guilt, but rather teach them how to admit failure, accept forgiveness, and move on to a victorious life. They need to see that in you too! Forgive yourself first. God has. 

As I said, I could write to you for days of my experience! But I wont’. We’ll stop here. I encourage you to find your church. (Of course I’m hoping it’s mine) But find yourself a church family that will give you the support in these trying times. You need it. And God has made a way for you to have it. The local church. 

Posted in Uncategorized

Hold on!

Written by talk2shari Published Discussion Leave a Comment on Hold on!

Revelation 2:25- But that which ye have already hold fast till I come.

The Word of the Lord as John wrote to the church of Thyatira, and what great words they are! “Hold fast till I come.” John had just given them the good news/bad news report from the Lord. In verse 19-20 he wrote “I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first. Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.”

I found it interesting that he mentions “work” twice, and in the next verse He said that His “servants” had been seduced. Obviously this was a church with a servant’s heart, but they’d got seriously off track in doctrine at some point.  But not all! Therein lies the good news.

24 But unto you I say, and unto the rest in Thyatira, as many as have not this doctrine, and which have not known the depths of Satan, as they speak; I will put upon you none other burden.

The modern day church as a whole does not have a good name. There’s so much infighting, false doctrine and Jezebel’s of the church that the Name of the Lord is tarnished like a piece of neglected silver. But in this church like all others there was remnant who had held true to the Holiness of God and to them the Lord says “Hold fast till I come.”

I repeat those words this morning to you who are reading because I know how hard it is to stay faithful in this fallen world; but if ever there is a time to hold fast it’s now. Our family and friends need to see that Jesus is the same today as He was then. There’s still a few crucial things that you can to hold onto in the church until He comes.

The Word of God – The book of Revelation for many years was seldom preached in the church because it made little sense to those who read it. The metaphors were wild to even imagine, but now… they read like yesterday’s news. For John to have seen the visions of our day in his day, what must it have looked like? To see visions of our war machines! They look like monsters to me. But hold on till the end of the book!

The Wisdom of God – As a child of God our wisdom comes from Him. It’s so easy to get frustrated with the condition of the world and want to through in the towel at the Jezebel’s and just walk away, but hold on! It only looks like they’re winning. Have you read the end of the book? No war fought on this earth is as destructive as the one we fight. When I think of Jezebel I think of the harlot whose goal is to steal the lover of another, and that is exactly what Satan desires to do. He is the happiest when he can lure someone away from the church with the filth of the world and corrupt their minds into thinking that it’s the “new normal.” Hello can I can a witness on that one?! And if you caught my reference to the show on television that’s not new, it’s as old as time. But God is faithful to give us wisdom for this battle, just ask for it!

Another thing you can hold on to is the Ways of God. Don’t buy the lie of the world that we have to accept the standards of the day and drag the world into the church. So many churches have watered down the gospel to the point Christ’s sacrifice is unrecognizable. They’ve taken the “Thou shalt not’s out” and replaced them with “That’s not for us.” Satan has lulled many into believing that God’s ways changed with the times. They didn’t. Hold on to it!  God’s way is true and faithful.

If you’re struggling to stay in service, if Satan has buffeted you with people and things to get your eyes off Christ Hold on!!! Jesus is coming soon! If ever there is a time to let our friends and family see that we have something to hold on to, it’s now.