Are you like me, in that I heap condemnation upon myself, until I am buried under the weight of it all and unable to walk in the newness of Christ because I’m carrying the old crap around? Perhaps it’s just me. Throughout my 60 years of life on earth I have allowed others in my life to make me feel like a dirt dog. I don’t know that it was ever their intention, but they did it through a comment, an attitude of righteousness, a haughtiness, anything that made me feel less, or under their scrutiny. It still happens today, especially with people who yield their righteousness like a caped crusader for Jesus.
Romans 8:1-2 KJVS
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. [2] For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
Who’s Condemning Me?
Christ? No, it says that there is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. So what exactly is condemnation. In the 1828 Webster’s dictionary it says that being condemned is to pronounce that one is utterly wrong, to blame, or to even go so far as to include the idea of utter rejection. Hello? Welcome to Shari 101. That’s how I feel so very often when I am in the presence of people of stature, position or worldly intelligence. I say worldly because people of Spiritual intelligence, generally speaking have spiritual wisdom, but not always. They too can run the risk of allowing their wisdom of the word to lack spiritual discernment in others.
When God began revealing His word to me, nobody was more shocked than myself. Who am I that God would speak such deep truths to my soul? And when I say deep, it’s not the depth of a person of great conviction to the study of God’s word. It’s just that God speaks deep truth’s to even silly people sometimes. Because He will use the foolish to confound the wise. It’s bible. Look it up!
So back to that feeling of condemnation. Where does it come from? It comes from the flesh. Both the flesh of others and the flesh of me. The flesh of others when they get on a high horse, and the flesh of me when I allow them to convince me I am less. I know this because the scripture said it, there is “no condemnation” in Jesus. So it comes from man.
Who’s Calling me Out?
Christ for certain will call me out when I sin. But my sins are generally not so bold and brazen to be committed in the eyes of others, so I don’t really have anyone calling me out for sins. What I have is people who call me out for having an opinion. I know this will come as a complete shock to people, but I am highly opinionated. I have a tendency to share what’s on my heart, and in so doing, it often ruffles the feathers of the people I give my opinion to. And the one thing I am highly opinionated on above all else is the Spirit of God and His work in my life. It’s never gotten old. It’s never NOT been exciting. But for some people, it’s just not that way. And for the love of all things Holy, I can’t understand it, but I don’t judge their lack of spirituality. I just assume they’ve missed the freedom part. But when people judge me for my Spirit, for me it’s as if they’re judging God. And I struggle. I struggle to the point of despair. Which is where I’ve been. It takes every fiber in my being to keep going some days, and that’s not me.
Who Want’s to be Dead?
Evidently some people do. I don’t know if it’s piousness or pride that causes a person to look down on another who “feels” deeper than they do. And I’m not above being in error about the whole thing. I just don’t understand it. Walter Truss, a preacher and friend who has gone onto glory spoke often about the “Church of the Frigid-Air.” I’ve been in many. My friend Tracy Miller always told me to just sing my heart out and find the one person that “get’s it.” They’re usually nodding to the beat, with a big ol’ grin on the their face and they’re happy to be there!
Not everybody gets it. Not everybody get’s me. And that’s okay. But I know for certain, I don’t want to die until I’m dead; and then, I’ll get it first hand how God wants me to act in service. I’ll bet it ain’t quiet.