The memory is a funny thing, not funny haha but in the peculiar sense of the word. Out of the blue I’ll have a crazy thought come into my mind, a blast from the past so to speak, and I’ll wonder what on earth prompted that thought. A flood of emotions often comes along with it and a renewed sense of happiness, sadness or fear depending upon the memory. Spiritually I do the same. Sometimes it’s a scripture I’ve read, or sermon I’ve heard; other times it’s a failure that I’ve committed and my heart twists and breaks again as if I’d just done it again. Other times I’ll grapple with remembering even the smallest of things and think I’ve lost my mind all together. That’s a pretty frequent occurrence.
One of my favorite bible characters that I identify with on so many levels (mostly of failure) is Peter. I “get” his “leap and the net will appear, speak before you think, I’ll never forsake you Lord” attitude. It really does define me.
Matthew 26:75 ~ And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.
Peter remembered his promise; he remembered the friend he said he’d be. And now look….what a mess he was in. What a failure. What a friend? Why could not his memory have failed him this time? Why did he have to recall that day when he had so boldly proclaimed his dedication to the Lord? Peter failed Christ just as we all do and God brings it to mind not to reprimand us again, He forgave it when it occurred; but more as a catapult to launch us forward and to keep us from a repeat performance. Peter wept bitterly that night, but later Peter won thousands to the Lord!
My Dad went home to be with Jesus several years ago, and just weeks before he did I was visiting him in his hospital room with my Mother. Dad’s memory never failed him, God was so gracious with us on that. He sat on the side of his bed and recalled being five years old and sitting beneath an apple tree looking down on his parents who were working in a field. As a five year old he told God, “If you let me keep my parents until they’re old, I’ll serve you.” With tears in his eyes he told us of how God reminded him of his childhood prayer when he was 30 years old and he heard the words of God prompt his memory by saying “You promised.” Dad gave his life to Christ and began serving the Lord and what a servant he was! That memory launched him. Yes he had failed God. He’d not lived for Him as he’d promised, but he would then.
Peter failed. Dad failed. I’ve failed and you’ve failed. It’s a fact of life. Use that error in judgment as a catapult to service. God knows you’re better than that because it is He created you better than that. Peter continued on, still making mistakes because he was human, but God used him to win thousands to the Lord and we’re still talking about him today. Satan will take a failure and remind you again and again of who you were; remind him of who he is. A fallen angel with a future in hell. You are child of God with a future in Heaven.
Memories are sometimes painful. Make them purposeful.